I can't enjoy. I have had mental disease before I came here, in Japan.
I always feel lonely at a party which is just playing game.
I hate a party just playing games, without alcoholic.
If I am at that party like wse party, something which I'm afraid surely appear in my mind.
As if something tell me “You're always alone!" “I'll break your mind!"
Today that something appeared in my mind again.
I couldn't join any games by that something.
Actually, I was crying in my heart alone at the party.
I'm confused now.
I'm really afraid of being alone.
I'm weak.
I cannot think anymore.