’I -want to be quite frank with you. I should be sorry if anything happened to them. When the first one was expected I thought I’d be much fonder of it than I ever had been of its mother. I suppose I should have been if it had been white. Of course, -when it was a baby it was rather funny and touching, but I had no particular feeling that it was mine- I think that’s what it is; you see, I have no sense of their belonging to me. I’ve reproached myself sometimes, because it seemed rather unnatural, but the honest truth is that they’re no more to me than if they were somebody else’s children. Of course a lot of slush is talked about children by people who haven’t got any.’
Now she had heard everything. He waited for her to speak, but she said nothing. She sat motionless.
’Is there anything more you -want to ask me, Doris?’ he said at last.
’No, I’ve got rather a headache. I think I shall go to bed.’ Her voice was as steady as ever. ’I don’t quite know what to say. Of course it’s been all very unexpected. You must give me a Little ttime to think.’
’Are you very angry with me?’
’No. Not at all. Only - only I must be left to myself for a while. Don’t move. I’m going to bed.’
She rose from her long chair and put her hand on his shoulder.
’It’s so very hot tonight. I wish you’d sleep in your dressing-room. Good night.’
She was gone. He heard her lock the door of her bedroom.
She was pale next day and he could see that she had not slept. There was no bitterness in her manner, she talked as usual but without ease; she spoke of this and that as though she were making conversation with a stranger. They had never had a quarrel, but it seemed to Guy that so would she talk if they had had a disagreement and the subsequent reconciliation had left her still wounded. The look in her eyes puzzled him; he seemed to read in them a strange fear. Immediately after dinner she said:
’I’m not feeling very well tonight. I think I shall go straight to bed.’
’Oh, my poor darling, I’m so sorry,’ he said. ’It’s nothing. I shall be all right in a day or two.’ I shall come in and say good night to you later.’