Everyone Online Lies
Nowhere more than in the world of online dating does perception trump reality in the realm of love. There we begin falling in love based on everything but actual human contact. We see a photograph. We read a profile. We begin to communicate via email. We may not hear an actual voice until we're already knee-deep in pheromones.
According to a study from researchers at Cornell University, 90 percent of online daters do lie. However, those lies are relatively small. A bit of deception about age is common, but only a 1.5 percent deviation. Women tend to shave about 5 percent off their weight, and men tend to add about 1 percent to their height. Most people limit their online lying in anticipation of one day meeting their match, and the fear of getting caught.
That said, I have to admit that I once got taken in by a serial liar on Match.com. In his photograph he looked like a 35-year old professor with a full, reddish beard, blue eyes and a wry smile. He went to the best schools, had an interesting, high-paying job, lived in a great neighborhood, and wrote sparkling, funny emails.
Then we met. Suddenly, I was faced with a man who was 15 years older than his picture, his reddish hair turned white, his lean figure gone pudgy. Not only that, he wasn't confident, witty or even particularly nice. But I couldn't let go of the man that I had constructed in my head, so I stayed. It took me two whole months to finally figure out that I was dating a simulation of a man who had nothing to do with his virtual counterpart. Now I realize I should have taken one look, turned around and walked away.