List all of those old grudges on a piece of paper. Spend some time to really think about them all. Go back in time and relive every drop of anger and hurt.
Then, when you and your spouse are both calm, go over your list. Now, this isn’t your time to beat up on your spouse and prove to him that he’s the rotten person you think
he is. No, it’s not about that. This is about getting it out of your system. So say something like this, “I’m having a hard time moving on from the past, and I really want to move on. I know you are better than I give you credit, but these old wounds still need to heal. Can we talk about these past incidents? I’d like to tell you why I felt hurt. I would really appreciate it if you told me that you were sorry. I know it may seem silly, but please bear with me. I’m really trying to forgive and I think this might just help.”