Note that adding references to Jim forced Paula to write less emotionally—
always a good idea in business With the new focus on Jim and his
needs, the Empathy Index became positive. (Note that the references to Jim
[“them”] are in boldface and the references to Paula [“us”] are underlined.
The word “we” isn’t counted because it refers to both Jim and Paula. Likewise,
the word “Let’s” [i.e., “Let us”] isn’t counted for the same reason.)
Them 6
Us (5)
Empathy Index 1
Not only does the E-mail become more positive, it also becomes more
action oriented, and as such, is much more likely to achieve Paula’s objective:
for Jim to include her in updates.
Write Excellent First Drafts