Parent these children based on emotional age: Abused and neglected children will often
be emotionally and socially delayed. And whenever they are frustrated or fearful, they will
regress. This means that, at any given moment, a ten-year old child may emotionally be a
two- year old. Despite our wishes that they would “act their age” and our insistence to do
so, they are not capable of that. These are the times that we must interact with them at
their emotional level. If they are tearful, frustrated, overwhelmed (emotionally age two)
parent them as if they were that age. Use soothing non-verbal interactions. Hold them.
Rock them. Sing quietly. This is not the time to use complex verbal arguments about the
consequences of inappropriate behavior.