Hi, Verutai. My name is Deborah. I am Gordon Lake´s mother. I convinced my son to let me write to you since I know you are an active defender of women.
My son has nothing to do with human trafficking, and if you would accept an invitation to drink a coffee with him, you would know this at the very first moment. He is a very a good person. He has fought very hard in his life to have a good job and to have his own family. He works for a well-known music university, and he is a good man. Unfortunately, after he finally completed his family with his beautiful little daughter, my granddaughter, everything became complicated.
In my country surrogacy is legal, and women participate mainly because they want to help other people reach their dreams to become parents. Compensation is not the main reason - they do it voluntary and they have their own family and children. The surrogate mothers often have a continued relationship with the father and the child, because they are connected in a very special way.
When my son went to Thailand in March 2014, he used an agency to organize everything and this agency told us everything was fine and there are never any problems, and he thought he was in good hands. He chose an egg donor and the agency chose the surrogate, Patidta. She was there voluntary, like all the surrogates. We hoped she wanted to be a surrogate not only for the compensation, but to help my son to be a parent.
After August, there were problems in Thailand and surrogacy was forbidden for foreign people. And I completely respect that - every country has its own laws and ways to do things. But this has nothing to do with my son, because at the time he started, what he and Patidta were doing was legal and is still legal.
I will be always grateful to Patidta for carrying and bringing my granddaughter into this world, but she has to understand that my son and my granddaughter need to come back to our country. She has to understand that she did this voluntary, that she is not the biological mother. If, despite the proof, she has any doubt, she should have a DNA test to be sure that Carmen is not her biological daughter.
We are suffering a lot, we miss them and we want them back.
I’m a woman and I have always fought for women’s rights, but to accuse my son, of human trafficking (which I think you know is not true) and to show his face on TV is not appropriate. In our country, we also do not show the face of an innocent child to the public, in Facebook or on TV programs. I feel such pain for Gordon and Carmen being exposed to the media this way.
From woman to woman, I ask you to try to understand my son's situation. He has been almost 4 months in a foreign country, is having problems with his company to keep his job, and is far away from his family. I am crying and praying every day to meet my granddaughter, as is all of our family. We are a big family and we miss them a lot.
Every time there is a meeting scheduled between you and his lawyer we pray and pray, but in the end they are always cancelled and all our hopes destroyed.
Please Verutai, I know he made the mistake of offering her money, but it was because he was desperate to finish with the nightmare. He is afraid someone will take Carmen from him. I promise you that my son is not the enemy in your fight for women's rights.
One last thought. The most important person in this drama is Carmen. Although Patidta did a wonderful thing by volunteering to be a surrogate, it is best for Carmen to be raised by her biological parent. If she is with Gordon, she will be raised in a large loving family and will have all the opportunities available to grow into a beautiful, intelligent, and self confident woman. In your path forward, please always keep in mind what is best for Carmen. You will then be defending her rights as a young woman.
Sincerely,
Deborah Bartels Lake
With Hope in My Heart and the Best of Intentions,