What Is Expected From Us - We’re Not Thai
By Flexable Falung
Before you read this just let me inform you that this submission is a generalization and nothing specific about Farang visiting or living in Thailand.
Recently while reading the submission from Steve: Old Farang / Young Thai - The Culture Difference, published on 14/12/2010, and numerous other farang submissions, they made me think about how so many foreigners seem to be so sensitive to the Thai culture and want to speak on its behalf...or they like to think they are so knowledgeable by way of their seemingly all-knowing insight into Thai people.
I have been coming to Thailand since 1979 and living here since 1986, for going on 24 years and I have always found it somewhat disturbing to listen to some foreigners who want to point out how we should be sensitive to the Thai ways and try to understand their way of thinking on certain subject matters...even if and when it commonly does not make logical sense in so many ways.
Even if and when they are outright wrong.
I personally do not see anything overly unique about Thai Ways and Thai Culture or Thai people. There are a hundred or so other “cultures” around the world and the “ways” of those people born within a said to be or defined culture or recognized culture so what makes the Thais and Thai Culture any more note worthy or awe inspiring.
Where ever I travel I have admiration and respect, to a degree, for the said to be or understood cultural values of the country I visit. Thailand is wonderful but nothing special...at least not to me...interesting yes, intriguing and stimulating yes... and fun of course...but not so special...not the way Thailand is all pumped up to be by so many and defended by many.
Thailand the illusion...as has been pointed out many, many times.
Over the years I have become aware of how so many foreigners tend to gloss over all the underlying problems within Thai culture and Thai society and try to supersede the many, many problems within Thailand by comparing the many problems occurring in the West. They commonly use their own personal contempt of the west and western ways, their loathing of western governments and many aspects of western society as a comparative argument in defense of Thailand, as if the Thais and Thai ways and Thai culture have the answers to the meaning of life.
Personally I observe a society of people whose minds are in a continual state of conflict and their hearts and souls are tortured in many respects because they are forever bound to their Thai ways and their Thai thinking and Thai mentality. I have come to the conclusion they are seemingly convinced the Thai way is the only way it can to be for them and no other way in their beliefs and thinking.
I certainly do not envy them in any way that comes to mind and I do not mean that in any bad way...just that I do not believe they are happier and or more content in life as everyone likes to say or think they are...on an individual and personal level and or all of Thai society...they far from content and at peace with themselves.
If there is an ongoing conflict with the difference in thinking and cultural values then why do so many foreigners come here or chose to reside here.
Well...for all those people (foreigners) that come here for the fist time or the first few times they do not really know about such matters but when you live here long term you begin to realize the conflict of interests...but they are not life threatening or overwhelming...just there to be dealt with sometimes depending on circumstances.
You can not help but be caught up in the Thai ways and the Thai ways of thinking sometimes. Concerning some issues it is frustrating to say the least when you are confronted with it.
I am talking about the many negative situations and scenarios that have been talked about numerous times in the Stickman website and the irritating frustration you have to deal with when the Thai way or Thai mentality gets in your face.
It could be similar or the same in a number of other countries also and certainly if you live in other countries you are going to be caught up in some negative aspects of living in another country...along with the in your face mentality of the people you have to deal with.
People are traveling all over the world and Thailand is just one of many, many countries you can choose to visit for a holiday destination and or live in if you choose. Most people go elsewhere but enough come here to make it a popular destination and they enjoy themselves, as do most people wherever they choose to go.
There is plenty to enjoy here and Thailand is a great place to entertain yourself.
Many end up enjoying it so much here they find themselves rejecting their homelands eventually claim they live here because Thailand sooths their souls and they live in admiration of the Thais and their Thai ways...but I think it is more of a lifestyle choice and the stimulation of living in a foreign country more so than seeking a life lived in a culture that you were not born to. For men that choose to live here it has so much to do with the Thai women and Pussy.
Involvement with Thai women will truly subject a man to the mentality of Thai culture at large more so than any other way of experiencing “Cultural Immersion”.
If you find life to be more exciting here and more interesting and more of: “Life on the Edge” then by all means come here as often as you like and stay here and live here and culturally immerse yourself as deep as you want...or you can just be here without having to understand much of anything related to Thai Culture. You will get along just fine and be comfortable here.
Overall the Thais welcome you and Thailand is more than worldly enough and rapidly modernizing in many respects and there is not much you can not get or find here in Thailand...making it a more than pleasant enough place to visit or reside.
Many little common frustrations aside there is not much that will make you want to leave and never come back unless you are so set in your ways and you can not adjust to the environment and all that it entails.
However, the majority of other countries around the world are also welcoming you and if you were to visit all of them certainly you would choose to live in any number of other countries that are excellent choices by popular opinion or by way of your own personal choices.
Thailand does not have an overwhelming charm that appeals to everyone...just some!
After living here for many years there are a notable percent that have no desire to continue living here and form a negative opinion about Thai People and many issues pertaining to the Thai way...and certainly the Thai mentality...which is always being questioned and all too often frustrating.
If you do choose to live in a foreign country you are not required to perform an in depth analyzes of the countries culture and way of thinking and the mentality of the people...but naturally you will be subject to all of that if you choose to travel there or live there.
But why is it that so many foreigners feel so obligated to try to understand the Thais and their way of thinking and the Thai culture...as if you will be damned if you do not comply and you are boorish for being culturally insensitive if you don’t try to figure out why a Thai person thinks the way they do and what is in the heart of a Thai person...along with understanding their mentality.
Not that there are all that many people who act like that but it seems there are plenty of foreigners out there that think they have the Thais figured out.
I mean, short of ignoring everything Thai and rejecting everything Thai, is it necessary to understand their thinking and mentality while being so sensitive to their culture.
Meaning no disrespect... It is their culture and their ways... not ours...and unless you are born to that culture you are not required to practice it or understand it...but of course it can be useful if you do and has advantages in some respects.
It seems that many Farang here go to great lengths to try to understand the Thai people while second guessing their thoughts and actions and mentality while trying to become an authority on all things Thai...while making like the intimate understanding of the Thais, their mentality and the Thai mind is of the utmost importance or life here is void of any quality.
Those that don’t achieve the thought to be inner knowledge and understanding are looked upon with a sort of petty distain...as if you are rejected from the boys club...because you do not know and don’t make the effort to know.
If you want to attempt to analyze the mind set and thinking of a nation of people then go right ahead and read all the books you want and become knowledgeable and educated on the subject of Thai culture and Thai ways and Thai history...fill your boots. It makes for good reading and you can then go about telling everyone how much you know about Thai people...be the neighborhood expert.
Admittedly it is good conversation but always a conversation leaving you filled with doubts and the feelings of frustration and confusion and far too many contradictions.
Over the last 30 years I did a lot of reading and educating myself about many matters pertaining to the Thais and the country of Thailand but after all the info I absorbed and the knowledge gained...well...I really do not consider it very useful and or give it much thought.
When I look around I just smile and think to myself: “It is not important to figure these people out because I am not one of them”...while knowing that they never really except you anyhow...because you are not Thai.
Never forget, they are and can be racist also...but they do not think they are...because they are Thai and when racism is practiced by them it is not racism in their minds...surprise!...and if you confront them with it then you create a loss of face for them and then you are