Understanding your host child’s development will make you a better au pair
Pay attention to progress
Babies and toddlers
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Toilet training tips
There are no set rules about what age a child should be toilet trained. Many children are ready to begin learning about using the potty or toilet when they’re two years old. But it is up to the parents to decide when toilet training begins.
Your host parents will take the lead on toilet training so it’s important that you understand and follow their routine. For example, be sure to ask what words or signals their children will use to tell you that they need to use the bathroom.
The more relaxed and matter-of-fact you are about potty training, the easier it will be for you, the toddler and the parents.
Physical signs
Able to control bladder; this seldom happens before a child can walk.
Able to “stay dry” for fairly long periods of time.
Able to tell you somehow that he or she needs to go to the bathroom; find out what words the host family uses for bathroom, urine, and bowel movement.
Mental Signs
Shows an interest when other children go to the toilet.
Is uncomfortable when his diaper is wet or dirty; lets you know that he wants to be changed by coming to you and pointing to his diaper, or telling you.
Things to Keep in Mind about Potty Training
Potty training can be a long process. Accidents are perfectly normal. Don’t punish a child for an accident; instead, be gentle and understanding.
Tell the child simply and calmly that you want him to do it. He may understand more easily if he sees other children using the toilet.
Never make a child feel ashamed for having an accident.
Always praise and encourage a child for using the toilet.
Masturbation
Masturbation is normal childhood behavior. Infants and toddlers are interested in all parts of their bodies. Their genital areas seem no different to them than their nose or mouth. When toddlers are being potty trained, so much attention is focused on their genitals that they’ll naturally want to touch them. Touching their genitals is innocent and harmless; they are doing nothing morally wrong.
Adults who scold a child or punish this behavior can create a different problem; the child will not understand why they shouldn’t touch themselves, and may grow up thinking their genitals are sinful and dirty. Toddlers or preschoolers quickly grow out of touching themselves in public. If they don’t see anyone around them doing the same thing, they will soon stop.
If masturbation seems to be a tension release for a child, help that child find other ways to feel better. If a child masturbates at a certain time every day, or after a certain activity, anticipate it and try to redirect the child to something else.
Any observations you make about a child’s behavior, whether it is masturbation or something else, discuss the issue with your host family.
Preschoolers and kindergarten
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Sharing
Children need to learn how to share, they do not understand sharing by themselves. Remember that sharing is a skill children will develop over several years. It is a normal step in their development. Infants and toddlers are not able to see things from another person’s perspective so sharing is difficult for them. Not wanting to share is age appropriate. Children often learn to share when others share with them.
Forcing children to share usually does not work
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Why? Forcing does not encourage them to share on their own. Making a child share often means that you take from one child to give to another, and the child is now unsure when something will be taken away from him or her. The result is that children hoard things instead. Give children choices, “would you like to play with the red cups or the blocks?” so they can choose what they want, this can be a way to avoid hoarding.
The best way to teach sharing is to be generous yourself. Here are some other tips from Susanne Ayers Denham a Developmental Psychologist with babycenter.com:
Take every opportunity to show your host child how to share. Offer some of your meal or a chance to assist in the fun of decorating a cake. As you do, use the word “share” to describe your behavior. For example, “I’m eating a really good sandwich, and I’d love to share it with you. Would you like some?”
When a toddler attempts to share, praise those efforts. Little by little, he or she will notice the positive reinforcement and feel good about repeating those actions. Before long, sharing will start to come naturally.
Never punish a child, especially a toddler, for not sharing. You can let the child know you’re disappointed and sad when he or she doesn’t share, but that’s it. Don’t make a big deal out of it.
Preschoolers and kindergarten
GET TO 100% TO EARN YOUR COURSE BADGE 33% BADGES Well done! Each badge is a completed lesson.Well done! Each badge is a completed lesson.
Bullying
At this age, children are also learning about being in power and learning to control that power. This can be confusing for a child and they will express it in a negative way which can turn into bullying.
Bullying is when one child picks on another child again and again. What starts as mild teasing, but can lead to ridicule, harassment or intimidation. Children can experience physical, verbal or social bullying both face to face and online.
There are many different types of bullying. In this video, we learn about what to do when a child experiences aggressive bullying at school.
Bullying is an important topic in the USA, if you learn that one of your host children is experiencing bullying the best way to respond is to tell your host parents. This is something that they might want to report to the child’s school.
You will learn more about bullying but also how to build self-esteem in kids at the au pair training school.