nfluence is “the act or power of producing an effect without clear exertion of force or direct exercise of command”
Without influence, there would be no useful purpose for the counseling relationship
To change 1 or more of the 4 goals of counseling proposed
Personal constructs/ insight
Observe →cognitive process →construct →new concept
Behavior
Ability to cope
Decision making
Ivey & Ivey (2003) cites three general interpersonal influencing skills, along with 8 skills
If used in the appropriate context, can add great value to the counseling relationship
Many of these skills involve a delicate balance of power between counselor and client
Confrontation
American Dictionary tells "confront" means "to come face to face with, especially with opposition or hostility
In counseling confrontation as "an act of grace" or "a true act of caring”
Telling clients about inconsistencies that the clients may not yet have spotted for themselves
Timing is critical
Effective confrontation can only happen after the counselor and client have had a chance to get to know each other
It takes time to build trust
Only trust can allow the client to accept and integrate information that might be frightening, even painful
4 main different kinds of inconsistencies:
Thoughts/beliefs VS action
Feeling VS action
Thoughts/beliefs VS feeling
Part of the story
Confrontation means telling them about the inconsistency that you perceive, caringly and as gently as possible