When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look into reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. Too never blame the lettuce. Yet we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person.But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all,nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments.just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love,and the situation will change.
One day in Paris, I gave a letter about not blaming the lettuce. After the talk. I was doing walking meditation by myself, and when I turned the corner of a building, I overheard an eighth-year-old girl telling her mother,"Mommy,remember to water me. I am your lettuce."I was so pleased that she had understood my point completely. Then I heard her mother reply, "yes, my daughter, and I am your lettuce also. So please don't forget,if was very beautiful.