Falling off a Bridge and Into Love.
He was not dumb. He didn’t need Sano to tell him that if he wanted to try and buy her freedom from the red light district, he would have to pay a hefty cost. He didn’t need Sano to tell him that if he chose not to pay for her freedom, he would have to grow accustomed to her pleasuring other men.
Yet, at the same time, he needed every bit of those words.
When he had pulled himself from the riverbank that day, it hadn’t been hard to make the decision to cut it off. To start a new life. But the one thing that he thought of as he walked away from everything—well, the one person—was that little maiko.
Yet, Harada’s words had still rang true until the end, and just as he stepped toward the exit of the village, those thoughts firmly in mind and with the resolve that he couldn’t deal with loving her, or whatever it was that he felt… He turned. He wasn’t sure of why he did, but he did, and God, if he was glad for it in the end.
He turned and she was right there. She was right there, looking dead at him in surprise, as if she couldn’t believe that he’d cut his hair. And the only thing that he could manage to do, stupidly, was produce that little red comb that he’d bought in Osaka as a souvenir. Fingers trembled while he placed it in her hands, and he moved to turn away. To just get rid of this ridiculous ache that had settled in his entire being at the sight of her, and yet, more than anything, this was what he wanted. He wanted to see her one more time. To… To…
"Kosuzu…" Ah, damn… The way she looked up at him in genuine surprise, as if she was amazed that he had remembered her name… She smiled at him now, and that was when Ryunosuke realized that, no, he could not leave. Not until he told her how he felt.
It was with a heavy heart that he lowered his head, allowing the bitter words to spill free, “I’m leaving here… I don’t know where to go or what to do, but I’m going to start a new life for myself… And more than anything I know to do, I wanted to tell you that I… Hmph… I think that I really do love y—”
And she cuts him off, just quick enough, with a hard slap that sends him stumbling back in surprise. A glance at her reveals that, like the first time she’d ever smacked him, she was crying. And this time, he didn’t know why. He hadn’t said anything wrong this time, had he?
The way her words come now is much like they’d sounded in her first day of anger with him over casually remarking about her job. And that… That had not been a good day. “You can’t start to tell a girl that you love her and just make to leave a second later, Ryunosuke!”
…Oh.
"But—" He started, and she cut him off again with a swift, "Don’t!"
So he tried again, this time more determined to spill his words fully. To let her know that he had every intention of coming back for her. To let her know that he cared—damn if he shouldn’t, but he did, and that was the worst of it because it was just like Sano said. She was a girl who serviced men constantly. He was a fool to fall in love with a girl like that, but dammit all to hell and back if he was going to leave without telling her. “But I’m—”
"I said don’t!"
"I’m in love with you, dammit!" Amber eyes narrow in vicious defense of his words, silently daring her to be angry at him for confessing how he felt. And yet… For what he expected, she surprised him. Instead, she simply stood rooted in place, tears pouring down her cheeks nonstop by this point, and a glance at where her eyes were tracking told him that she was looking at the little comb he’d bought her. It… Almost looked as if she felt scolded, and that was probably the case because Ryunosuke never had cussed around her that often. Never at her, especially.
"I fell off of a bridge." She looked at him, slightly puzzled by his sudden words. He almost grinned. Almost. But the reminder that he had brushed with death one time too many was swift in his mind, and he only kept a frown in place. "I fell off a bridge and decided that I was going to leave, because I can’t really stay here. I don’t want to… Now, anyways, but I wanted to say goodbye to you. To leave you with a memory of me. But I wanted to tell you, even more than any of this, that I want to come back for you. Because… Like I said, I’m in love with you."
It was there that he actually shut up, and he notices that her tears have dried just the slightest. Yet her cheeks are still damp and coated, so a hand reached up to thumb those tears away once more. “I’m sor—”
"Don’t."
So he didn’t. Instead, though, he tilted down, fingers gently pulling her chin up so his lips could brush against her own. He stays that way for a moment, too terrified to do anything further, but then it all settles in—he very well may not see this girl again. He loves this girl. He cares for her. Hell, he actually wouldn’t mind marrying her and starting a family with her in the future, if he ever did get the chance to come back. Once that all settles in, though, he kisses her hard. Lips pressing roughly against hers, holding her too him in a possessive stance that still, somehow, is more gentle than he’s ever been with anyone in the world. And she lets him hold her that way, too. She does not complain.
He drew away a second later, cheeks flushed at the realization of the idiotic thing that he’s done, and God help him for the look on her face. She looked, more than anything, to be happier than anyone in the world, and yet the agony of his departure was all too evident in her eyes.
She says nothing. He, himself, stays quiet. And then he turns away, stepping forward. Her hand catches his sleeve, and a small glance over his shoulder shows him how she’s looking at him. Disappointed is hardly the word. Angry, or hurt, even, don’t seem to fill in the words he’s looking for.
"I’ll come back."
And then he pulls himself away, refusing that single glance back that he knew he ought to give her. And he walks away.