It very hard to you know when you have that much to say and sometimes. what is what you have to say is being set against other to make yourself feel superior and other times in and but I do feel like a victim that was the important things. I never felt like a victim in the movies really help me kind save me from shame from guilt from putting on myself. when it was really you know my own burden it wasn’t my bird and I think making movies was my greatest Cape that’s really how I was able to get away from all that.