Sometimes an adult’s inability to understand and meet a child’s needs is related to goodness of fit—how well a teacher or parent can recognize and respond or adapt to a child’s temperament. Creating a good fit requires working with, not against, a child’s temperament (Kristal 2005). It may mean the adult makes some changes in his own style of relating. It also may mean making changes in the envi- ronment that take the child’s temperament into account. Hosea’s mother and teachers provided a good fit for
Hosea. They tuned their own style and pace to his. They provided support to keep him from becoming frustrated as he worked on new skills. They offered him challenges, but not so many as to overwhelm him. These adjustments to adapt to Hosea’s temperament further facilitated his development of self-regulation.
Goodness of fit and self-regulation
When teachers or parents have difficulty understanding and responding to a child’s temperament, the child’s development of self-regulation may be affected. A shy, quiet adult may be overwhelmed by an active, feisty child. Similarly, an active, outgoing adult may have difficulty providing the support that a shy or fearful child needs. Understanding the impact of temperament and consider- ing goodness of fit can assist teachers in selecting strate- gies that support the development of self-regulation.
Joe, a friendly, outgoing young teacher, walks up to Daniel, a new child in the toddler classroom. He kneels, puts his hands on Daniel’s shoulders, and says in a loud voice, “Hey, big guy, glad to meet you! We’re going to have lots of fun! Say good-bye to Daddy.” Joe is mystified when Daniel bursts into tears and presses himself against his father’s legs.
Understanding the impact of tempera- ment and considering goodness of fit can assist teachers in selecting strate- gies that support the development of self-regulation.
“Daniel is a little shy in new situations,” Daniel’s father explains. “He might do better if you bring out some toys and just sit next to him and play for a while.” Joe does as Daniel’s father suggests. At first, Daniel does not want to leave his father ’s side. But gradually he becomes interested in the toy trucks
and school buses and joins Joe and two other chil-
dren who have come over to play.
After a few minutes, Daniel’s father says good-bye. Daniel cries a little, and Joe stays near him until he feels ready to play again. Over the next several weeks, Joe and Daniel’s father talk each day to
gauge their efforts in supporting Daniel’s adjustment.
Joe connects to Daniel by adapting his style to the toddler’s temperament. Joe uses information and help from Daniel’s father to find a way to create a good fit between himself and Daniel. Joe’s willingness to adapt his style and greeting routine support Daniel’s growing ability to handle his emotional reaction to a new situation.
Challenging behavior and self-regulation
When babies have trouble regulating their strong emotions, their families and teachers may see their behav- ior as challenging. It can be stressful to care for a baby who cries inconsolably or doesn’t sleep day after day, or a
toddler who hits, bites, or refuses to eat. Such children may be showing difficulty with self-regulation.