How interesting! Your strong reaction suggests that this is very important to you. Apparently you have given this matter a lot of thought and it caused you some worry.
When you first said “If you can respect my culture”, I thought you meant music, language, food, the way people dress, greet each other and what celebrations the family has over the year. I could not have guessed this.
But I have read up a little on the internet, and indeed, it seems like it is part of Thai culture to pay for your bride as a proof that you are financially capable of taking care of her. On those pages,they say that the cost “for an average middle class educated Thai would normally be in the region of 100,000 Baht”
And that “Thai Dowry is a touchy subject in Thailand with Westerners”…
100.000 Baht is 2500 EUR, which is not very much money, by the way.
So if I had known you very well, and had been sure that you are the right woman for me, I could easily arrange that. On the internet, they suggest that a contract should be drawn up to regulate these matters and any property owned. Which makes sense.
Have you ever heard of scammers? They are women (and men) at the internet dating sites who pretend to fall in love with their victim. They are very nice and friendly, and after they have made you believe they are serious, they start asking for money. And you think “Yes, she seems very nice, and I would love to meet her”, so you send a little money. But then something surprising happens, an obstacle or an accident, or a relatives takes ill, and they need more money. In the end, they suddenly stop communicating, and you have no chance of finding them or the money you sent. At the dating site (connectingsingles), there are warnings everywhere against sending money to people you meet on the site. I usually stop communicating with any woman who asks for money at an early stage, because chances are high that she is just a scammer. That is why I was so strongly against it.
I would suggest that with the next Western man you meet, that you explain that this is not a scam but a culture, send a webpage that describes the culture and give details such as when the money has to be paid, what amount it is, who receives it and for what purpose, and that a contract should be set up. Such a description would provide safety in the mind of the man.
You should be aware that Western culture is fairly individualistic compared to Asian culture. In my world, it is not the family that takes care of me if I would take ill or have economic problems. I would use public health insurance, unemployment insurance and my own buffer of money to get along. I would not ask my family for help. If you want to live in our world, you may find this strange.