In the house, Ian and Anthony watch the news. The news anchor (Ian) talks about Taylor Swift's album called Anthony, I hate, hate, hate you, you suck, you dirty sack of s**t go die in a fire! Ian thought that Anthony (he thinks it's a different one other than Anthony Padilla) is stupid because he dated Taylor Swift and she's writing a breakup song about him. Anthony just went along with Ian. The anchor shows a preview of the new album. Anthony wants to change the channel, but Ian decides to view the album.
Taylor sings a song about Anthony and Taylor getting along at first. Anthony was starting to love the song, but then Taylor gets to the part of the song where she reveals her hat
ed for him while also mention his wet pants and cried when his goldfish died. Anthony thought it was dumb and changed the channel.
Taylor is still seen while singing about the time they met in a movie theater and that Anthony ran out of the movie because he wet his pants. He even asked for a napkin to wipe the "water" on the front of his pants. Everyone else knew that the liquid was pee which they laughed at him. Taylor even said that Anthony was watching Paranormal Activity. Ian doesn't understand Anthony pissing himself while watching the movie since he hasn't cried when watching the movie. Anthony changed the channel again.
Taylor is still seen while singing about her knowing that Anthony was a pussy when dancing to her songs while being dressed in her high-heel shoes and thongs. She even mentions about the tattoo on Anthony's butt and asks why it's there. Ian sees the tattoo out Anthony's butt. Anthony doesn't want to talk about and decides to change the channel again.
Ian and Anthony watch a cooking show called Cooking Time with Fanny McGee. Fanny starts to prepare the bread rolls which smell delicious. At first, Anthony is relieved that they are watching something unrelated to Taylor Swift, until Fanny introduces Taylor in the show. Taylor tells the viewers that the bread reminds her of Anthony and his crappy six-pack and shows off her song about it as she pulls out her guitar from her vagina. She sang about the fact Anthony drew his abs using a Sharpie and thought they were perfect.
Anthony keeps on flipping the channel only to find out that Taylor Swift is playing her new album on every channel. This included a heavy metal song. When Anthony changes back to the cooking show, Taylor also talks about her catching Anthony stealing superhero costumes from the little kids. Anthony flips the channels again while finding Taylor puking at a hanged Anthony dummy, a Jamaican song of their breakup, and other parts of previous music videos. He even flipped to a channel which shows Taylor flushing Anthony's goldfish down the toilet. Anthony has watched other parts of other previous videos including the first one which Taylor mentioned that she gave him hepatitis C. Anthony stops at the Jamaican song.
Ian thought it was weird because the song sounds it is about Anthony without noticing it is. Anthony said that would never happen and that Taylor would want to be with Anthony forever. Taylor even says in one of her videos that she secretly taped the breakup video in case Anthony said, "It ain't so."
In the breakup video, Anthony begs on his knees while trying to get back with Taylor. Anthony notices the camera recording him.
Anthony confesses saying that he briefly dated Taylor one time. Ian says that he doesn't want to date Taylor. However in the music video, Taylor says that she cheated on Anthony with Ian. She likes his bowl haircut and meaty thighs. Taylor says that Ian is the only date for her. Anthony gets pissed after seeing Ian dating Taylor. Taylor apologizes to Anthony with a song and says that she would rather be with Ian because of his thighs and firm butt cheeks. Ian and Taylor then start talking about how much they love each other.
Two hours later, the anchor revealed that Taylor released an album after breaking up with Ian. The album's called Ian is the worst boyfriend ever and his butt cheeks aren't even that firm after all; they're kind of like a loose lump of lard. Ian cries while wiping a tissue on him while saying he misses her so much. Anthony wonders if Taylor actually gave her hepatitis C which Taylor actually said that she did.
EpilogueEdit
Ian does some random dancing while Taylor sings that he's nasty.