If you are for certain that you have an INFJ in your threshold, know that this is a complicated waltz. It's not that an INFJ wants to be complicated, they're just kind of a perfectionist, and particularly so in relationships. They're looking for the best match possible. So if they're giving you ANY time, that means most likely they have thought about it in advance. On the other hand, sometimes an INFJ goes through a phase where they really just don't care -- and might be three sheets to the wind. This is an undesirable INFJ experience for you. It means they're unstable, and the reason why may be loaded.
INFJ folk are naturally mystics. They're calling card to life is their intuition and their feelings. They're meant for people, but unlike ENFJs who automatically will be in a relationship, like from birth, INFJs can be religiously single, focused on their careers, or religiously monogamous. If they are stuck on someone in their head, they may refuse even thinking about anyone else, even if this person is only a crush. INFJs go through phases of wanting to be in love, wanting to be entirely single, and also just putting a bag on their head and forgetting the whole ordeal. Why might they have this paradox etched eternally into their soul?
A big part of it is because INFJs are a lot bigger of people than most people know under the surface. INFJs are full of energy, brains, and emotions. When they like someone, it is heavy. Maybe not in a carnal way (that can happen) but in this more ethereal way catching their otherworldly brain and heart. It's an experience that is great if kindled properly, but if an INFJ goes unrequited, this experience can not only suck, but be distracting to maintaining their likely busy life. An INFJ longs for a relationship that most people don't have built into their software to be seeking. It is an exceptional experience that happens to them, and it may sound great if you've never had such a high burst of energy... but it can be a burden. This is why after dealing with a heartache or two, the INFJ may throw romance to the side for a long stretch of time, especially if they can reasonably see that settling down is not required of them anytime soon... or at all.
So what an INJF craves is trust and peace. They are sharks for knowing when they have been two-timed, and they hate it with an intense passion when seeking for their mate. They can forgive, but they hate being required to forgive. They can also be baffled because grace is something that just comes out of them, and they're surprised by how generously they'll give that grace, and at other times suffer in trying to find any of that grace to share for a human being who has somehow gotten on their black list.
If you want an INFJ, 9 out of 10 times you need to take it slow. Slow as in months or years. This will help them to do a background check on you. This will come from the conversations you have with them, and they'll be watching you and taking note. They actually enjoy this process. It's the "J" part of their personality working for them. They prefer that you befriend them before you date them. It's very weird to many of them to consider dating out of the blue. Many might not believe in the concept of dating. Or they may succumb to it out of necessity.
They don't like to force romance, they want it to unfold naturally, as graced by the universe, as if destiny. You need to be a little aggressive with an INFJ and also.... don't be too aggressive. That will make them question you. Eventually, an INFJ calms down from their perfectionist seeking. They realize everyone is human, including themselves. The more they understand the principles of forgiveness, the more ready they are for a relationship.
INFJ is worth your affections. It's like winning the king or queen. Not only do they make for some of the best relationships (if you have the wit for it), they are excellent parents. They don't want to be screwed over by people. They especially don't want to waste their time on someone when they could be working on creative projects that help propel them in the world. Wasting time on a person seems backwards to the INFJ. Hopefully, as you read this the qualities of introverted, intuitive, feelings, and judging are coming out easily.
INFJs do connect well if you touch them. This is one way they can tell whether they trust you or not. However, this is one of the most unusual things about an INFJ -- they're obsessed with virtue and character, and probably are more on the side of waiting till marriage. You probably are not going to meet that many adult virgins nor INFJs. However, they'll all know each other because they've probably studied similar things in college and hang out together.... and are still confused why they're all single. INFJs tend to be together in herds. They like writing, music, creativity, and spirituality. You'll probably find a whole herd of single INFJs at a church.
This particular personality is sensitive. They are more so in dating than friendship. They can write off the things of friends, but when it comes to dating -- do not cancel on them, avoid being late, do be interesting, do be random, do be spontaneous -- be what they see as... well... the definition of life, or the life of a party. They don't do well with boring. They're more likely to date, rather jump on the back of a motorcycle with a complete stranger (because they're in their committed single phase) than spend time with a guy who is so boring that he talks about the colors he likes to paint walls.
To woe an INFJ, have a list of entertaining, bizarre activities to enjoy. They don't care if they go to it and hate it, the fact that it's original is endearing and novel to them that they might not even know if the activity was a bust or not. Just the fact that is it was different is a far cry from boring. Avoid going out and getting drinks -- this isn't going to be memorable. INFJs whether or not they tell you, or even consider the things they do as dates, have the most interesting dates possible. They love dates because they get to show off the spontaneous sides that they have while also having the ability to time everything mysteriously well.
Does it seem like your INFJ has something stuck up their butt? INFJs are know-it alls. They don't always see this, but they can ramble about a number of various subjects for ages. If you want to have something more sensual, you'll have to help frame that. Again, they're not going to do anything behind doors with you unless there's a pretty serious commitment on the table... or they're out of their minds. They're not as big of prudes as you may think. In fact, they'll probably surprise you and themselves. Again, they have an unimaginable amount of energy coursing through their veins both intuitively and in the feeling department. They're creative and know how to generally visualize and understand things. They can check off the bedroom as another activity that they've mastered.
Before that -- you have to build your trust with them right. They won't give you a chance to see most sides of them, unless they feel that you've earned it.
Giving an INFJ alcohol to try to help them connect with you can backfire wildly. Giving an INFJ alcohol is like playing Russian Roulette. You don't know what's going to happen with this random person and nor do they. It could turn into a summersault of strange, embarrassing emotions, or the coolest and greatest thing you've ever seen. INFJs are not known for holding their liquor. It goes against their hardwiring. It's kind of like seeing a computer glitch and freak out. It can be entertaining, but it isn't controllable. There's a lot that an INFJ is noticing about people, and when they're lips are loose they can say too many things that are better left hidden in their minds filter.
INFJs need time to think and ponder and marinade. Each interaction you give to an INFJ will be considered by them and reviewed often. The words you say, the gifts, the way you touch them -- will make them wonder if you are right for them.