Hello Nicha, I think honesty count more then a pretty face. I understand you well. Let me tell from my life. Sad days I had a lot. Because if you grew up with a handicapped brother this was not easy. At the age of twenty I lost an eye, no one knows why. Much year's I walked alone. Findung love was like "catch the rainbow " Then I said ok I am alone now, I can do what I want, so I study engineering , do photography, a little sports, meet some friends
I learned to find happiness in little things,a nice sunsets, a smile from a child. So the wish for great love goes more and more in the background
And then it happens, at unexpected time and at a unexpected place. On the way to this I was divorced too, not funny.
I hope my words are helpful for you.
Bruno