the self is a complex configuration of multiple object relations that make up a person's inner sense of who he or she is. we become who we are by working on the objects that have been internalised and transforming them into a sense of self. whether the self is experienced as good or bad is determined by early relationships. the mother plays an important role in this since her different aspects inhabit the inner world of the child. a child feels desirable and loves when the mother has provided experiences that give rise to good internal objects. Bad experiences lead to the pain associated with these experiences , the child may lose all conscious access to them; that is, they become unconscious.