Thus, the community of friends is not a mutual admiration society, but rather a mutual aid
society. Of course, part of this mutual aid comes through friendly intercourse, but Confucius was
only being realistic when he recognized that even the best-intentioned people will at times fall
short of the mark. Since the Superior Person is first of all a learner, s/he should be able to learn
also from the friends with whom they are in contact:
The Master said, "When I walk along with two others, they may serve me as my teachers. I
will select their good qualities and follow them, their bad qualities and avoid them" (The
Analects 7:21).36
Just as it was an aspect of ch'ung, or loyalty, on the part of the minister to reprove the king when
the latter went astray, so too, reproving one's own friends is part of the demand of hsin, or true
fidelity:
Tse-kung asked about friendship. The Master said, "Faithfully (chu'ng) admonish your
friend, and skillfully lead (tao him on. If you find impracticable, stop. Do not disgrace
yourself" (The Analects 12:23).