Restrain negative impulses. It's okay to have negative feelings from time to time. However, it's important to learn how to deal with these negative feelings in a constructive way, otherwise your behavior will be negatively influenced. You can do this by practicing emotional regulation, which is a way of processing your emotions to deal with them in a healthy way.
Emotion regulation is a step-by-step process. First, acknowledge that you are feeling anger or another negative emotion. Notice how it feels and give it a name. Think about what's causing the emotion. Take a moment to evaluate how you feel about having the emotion, and how you want to deal with it. Finally, choose an appropriate action to take.[3]
Taking the time to process your emotion in this way will give you the chance to use the emotion in a healthy way instead of having an impulsive reaction. For example, let's say your daughter comes home after her curfew. Instead of angrily yelling at her, take the time to process your anger and decide on a course of deliberate action, such as scheduling a time to talk it over the next day.
Sometimes past trauma and abuse create emotional patterns that can impede the process of emotional regulation. You may find yourself having emotional outbursts that affect the people around you. Try distraction to help calm down, then work on productive inner dialogue, such as, “It’s okay, I’m just having a bad day. It happens from time to time. I’ll have a better day tomorrow.” It may also help to explain to the people around you, “I had a bad day, and I feel stressed and a bit upset. I’m going to go calm down for a little while first, then we can talk when I feel better.”
Forgiveness is important to being a good person. Forgiving others and yourself for past mistakes can untether you from feelings of resentment, distrust, and anger that could be affecting your behavior in the present.
If you have difficulty forgiving, and a tendency to hold grudges, talk to a therapist about how to let go of past resentments. Yoga, which preaches living in the moment in a spiritual sense, can also be helpful for learning to forgive