My Heart Skips a Beat When We Kiss
Basically whats going on is I met this girl Ashley and she had always had a boyfriend so i never had the opportunity to ask her out. We are both in the National Guard so I would only see her once a month. She lived out of state so this one weekend a month is the only time I would get to at least say a few words to her.
Then we both were on a 3 week long mission in the southern states where we had a lot of downtime. We would play card games and talk about anything n everything and we both would laugh and giggle about little things other people would find stupid or immature. She has an amazing sense of humor and enjoyed my unique personality. The only thing is she had broken up with her original bf a month prior and now was seeing a guy Mike that was also on the mission with us but in a different area than ours so we didnt see him much. There was some drama between her and Mike and another guy Josh and I did not want to get involved so I never gave the impression that I was interested in Ashley. I would still feel a connection when we were together and I could see it in her eyes but I just resisted myself.
After the mission, she apparently stopped seeing Mike and I had her cell number so we started texting a little bit here n there. Then it started to get more serious and she told me that she had feelings for me but did not think I was interested and I told her the whole story how I didnt want to get involved with drama and I didnt think she was interested either because of her and Mike.
So I told her to come and visit me for a week so we could hang out together since she lived out of state. After almost having solid plans she basically stopped talking to me and I found out she came out here but she came to visit Mike instead. She ended up moving out there with him which is about 4 hours from my house.
They had been going out for about 6 months and I hadn't seen or talked to her because she had left to a different unit.
So then she sends me a message on facebook last month saying she is back in my unit and she will see me at drill during the weekend. I see her at drill and just say hi and dont really talk to her because once again i dont want to get involved in drama and I dont like the mind games she played on me. That saturday night her and a few other people in her job specialty were drinking at one of their houses and she called me saying she wanted me to come over. I said no because it was already late and they were 35 mins from my house. She than prompted me to go online and she told me about how she had made a mistake and that I am the guy for her. I'm rolling my eyes while this conversation continued for awhile and once again we both told each other how much we want to be together.
So after that I was just thinking fine yea she claims she likes me but idk if i like these games. She than told me that she would be in town for a whole week making up some lost time at the unit. She told me her and Mike had broken up but that she still lives with him in his phrat house. At this point i was like fine whatever ill just go out with her and not become attached and whatever happens, happens. So we went out together that whole week and ended up becoming intimate and we spent as much time together as we could and it was amazing. My parents and friends all loved her and I had a blast being around her. After that week I was sad to say goodbye as she drove back to Mike's place. 2 weeks later would be drill and I was curious as to how it would play out.
This past weekend we had drill and I stayed with her one night at her hotel and she stayed with me last night. The night i stayed with her when we were in bed together she said she thinks she is falling in love with me. It caught me off guard and as much as I want to tell her I love her I can't because I can see me regretting it when she either gets back together with Mike or just loses interest in me. Also, she volunteered to deploy so next month is the last drill weekend I will see her until she goes and trains awith a different unit.
I know Mike and talk to him on facebook, he broke up with her but i dont understand the guy because he calls and texts her alllll the time and when i was with her and he gets real jealous but doesnt have a clue anything happened between us. I guess they fight all the time and it seems as if they will not get back together but I wonder where she sleeps at night? He called me one of the nights and asked me if i think she is trustworthy, i said yea because they wernt together and i just wanted to get him off my back. The kid must have issues because I had to listen to him whining on facebook a few times too. He was asking me if I think he should try and work things out with her or move on. I felt like it was a test by him and was just like man I can't make this decision for you, you gotta figure this out yourself.
So next month is the last time I will see her unless I make a trip out by her whic