(3) It sets a norm for selfish living. This was very evident in my relationship, particularly on my side of things. I relished in my independence as a young woman…my career, my calendar, my friends, my choices. I didn’t need to consult my boyfriend on these things, even when we were living together. But my husband? Well, he expected to be consulted, or at the very least be considered. A successful marriage means considering your spouse above yourself. Being willing to make selfLESS decisions, and this is not the culture created in most living-together relationships.