2. Talk about what was socially appropriate for making a good impression thirty to fifty years ago. You might want to include grandparents in this activity. Some examples may include the areas of fashion (boys wore suits and ties to a lot more places, girls wore hats and gloves), conversation (ladies did not talk about certain subjects in mixed groups), and habits (smoking, drinking, and the like).
3. Before your child goes into a potentially embarrassing situation, prepare him as much as possible. "Look, I know you don't like to go to the dentist, but getting upset while sitting in the waiting room with a lot of people around is not the best time to be angry about it. Let's go over what's going to happen, and then talk about how you are planning to handle it."
4. When your child is given a job to do, have her repeat all the steps of the task back to you before turning her loose. Make sure you discuss when the job is actually finished. Agree on this at the beginning, not while the job is still in progress.
5. Help your child clarify attributes about himself that make up a good reputation by telling him some things that you think characterize him. "You are always on time!" "Everyone loves when you are the babysitter—you really get into playing with the kids."
6. Ask your child to tell you about what it takes "these days" to have a good reputation. Who are some students who are particularly admired? Are they admired for things that they do or say? Or how they think? Find out!
7. Take pictures of your child (if she doesn't resist!). Use opportunities when the family is together for events or holidays. As you look through the pictures, use them as an opportunity to talk about how
your child appears to others. "Look at how tall you are!" "You have the nicest smile. I bet people think you are very friendly."
8. Pull out old high school pictures of yourself or other adult friends. After you have shared a good laugh, talk about why it was important to look like everyone else to fit in. You may find some similarities in reasons to dress, speak, dance, and engage in other activities that the previous generation did not understand.
9. Involve your child as much as possible in volunteering or community events. Most volunteer coordinators will appreciate the help and being complimented by an aduit who is not a family member will be encouraging to your child.
10. Being a good sport about sports (winning or losing) is another opportunity to express to your child the importance of how he or she appears to others. Maybe the umpire needs glasses and the referee is asleep, but a player's integrity and demeanor in unfair (perceived or real) situations say a lot about him. Sometimes you get a break; sometimes you don't.
These are my parents—they're going to a class reunion so they're cleaner and younger Looking than usual.
Chapter 1: Skill to make a Good Impression