Thai Traditional Wedding Ceremony
I attended my best friends’ traditional wedding. During the Buddhist religious ceremony I thought I would like to share this with everyone, so here I am.
Currently the engagement ceremony and the wedding ceremony combine to a single day for simple process. Both my friend’s engagement and wedding ceremonies were held at her house. The bride had 14 bridesmaids so we had to wake up at 3 a.m. to get ready (you know…makeup, hair, dress, and all that girl stuff) because the buddhist ceremony was scheduled to start at 6 a.m. (The Buddhist ceremony usually begins early in the morning, approximately 6-7a.m.)
1. Thai Buddhist Blessing
In the past, even numbers of monks such as four or eight were invited. However, nowadays Thai people believe that number nine is a lucky number. Accordingly, nine monks are usually invited, and with one Buddha image at the ceremony this comes to ten, thus making even number. The couple also invited nine monks to their ceremony. The monks chanted whilst a lit candle was placed in a bowl of water. This lustral water was then used later to bless the couple. A bowl of white paste was also blessed which was used later to anoint the foreheads of the bride and groom.
After the chant finished, the wedding couple and their relatives offered food to the monks. Nobody else is permitted to eat until the monks have finished their meal. Then the monks left the ceremony.
2. Engagement Tray (Khan Mak)
According to Thai customs, a couple traditionally becomes engaged during a ceremony known as “Kan Maak“ (ขันหมาก /kăn-màak/). ขัน/kăn/ means ‘bowl’ and หมาก /màak/means ‘betel nut'; ‘Kan Mak’ means “bowl of betel nuts” .
Things to put in the Khan Mak tray may vary by culture in different regions. These items represent important aspects of the marriage, such as health, prosperity, fertility and longevity. Generally items in the Kan Maak tray are ;
1. The young betel nuts (หมาก màak) 4 or 8 pieces
2. Betel leaves (ใบพลู bai pluu)
3. Silver bag (ถุงเงิน tŭng ngern) which contains money, usually coins
4. Golden bag (ถุงทอง tŭng torng) which contains mung beans, popped rice, sesame seeds
5. Meaningful flowers which commonly be;
- Calotropis gigantea (Crown flower) which in Thai is called ‘ดอกรัก dòrk rák’ ; ‘รัก rák’ means ‘love’
- Globe amaranth which in Thai is called ‘ดอกบานไม่รู้โรย dòrk baan mâi rúu roai’ ; the name means ‘always bloom’, so the couple’s love will always bloom.
– Marigold which in Thai is called ‘ ดอกดาวเรือง dòrk daao rueang’ , the name เรือง rueang sounds like the word ‘รุ่งเรือง rung rueang’ meaning ‘prosperous’.
Culture Note: Why betel nuts and betel leaves?
In the old time, Thai people liked to chew betel nuts and betel leaves. They were common items every household had and they were used to welcome the guests visiting the house. Therefore betel nuts and betel leaves are used as a gift to represent harmony in Thai wedding.
3. Khan Maak Procession
When the time comes for this auspicious occasion, the proceeding begins with the arrival of the groom and his entourage at the front of the bride’s house.The procession is lead by the groom’s representative or “เถ้าแก่ Thao Gae”, and his parents, relative and friends also accompany him carrying flowers, incenses, candles and gifts. The parade will be lead by drummers and traditional folk dancers, whose lively celebrations announce their arrival to all around.
Banana leaves and sugar canes are paraded like banners by some of the attendants, while others bear the traditional gifts of the Kan Maak, which includes rice, sesame seeds, Thai food for the feast and many Thai desserts, as well as monetary gifts and other precious items, such as gold and jewellery, which will make up the dowry to the bride’s parents later on in the ceremony.
Many of these gifts represent important aspects of the marriage, such as health, prosperity, fertility and longevity.
The Thai desserts to be eaten as part of the feast consists of nine different items. The number 9 is important in Thai society and it’s use on occasions such as this is regarded as very lucky.
The timing procession (ฤกษ์) is also important, as it will have been calculated to occur at the most auspicious moment for the couple. It is also common for the lucky number 9 to figure in these calculations as well. My friend’s Khan Mak procession started at 09:09 a.m.
When the procession finally arrives at the Bride’s home they will be met by the bride’s family, who will invite the groom into the home to conduct the next part of the ceremony.
4. Barring the Groom from approaching the Bride (พิธีกั้นประตู)
In order for the wedding to continue, the groom must bring the bride from her room to join him for the engagement ceremony. However, before this can happen, the groom must successfully pass through a number of obstacles that are put in the groom’s way by the bride’s family. These symbolic “doors” can only be entered once the groom has proved his worth to the keepers of the “locks”.
Normally, there are just 3 of these symbolic “doors”, but there may be more. Typically there are gold and silver gates represented by gold or silver belts or necklaces which is held by two female members of the bride’s family or friends. These days the doors are also represented by flower strings. At my friend’s wedding, there were nine doors and they were represented by lovely orchid.
The groom can sometimes be questioned and is occasionally teased during this activity as the family light-heartedly determined whether he can pass through each “door”. His passage to the next “door will only be granted once a “toll” has been negotiated with the keeper of the “lock”.
The toll for each subsequent “door” will increase as the groom successfully advances. I saw the doorkeepers of the few first gates got 100 Baht to open the door. I was the guard of the last door, so I accepted 1,000 Baht to let the groom passed.
Depending on circumstances it can either be the groom or his ‘Thao Gae” that hands over the money envelopes to the gate guardians.
This part of the wedding ceremony is the most ‘sanuk’ with plenty of laughter and frivolity most of which comes at the expense of the groom as he is teased and gently ribbed by the bride’s family.