Because jealousy is accompanied by a sense of inadequacy, it is hard to bear, says Stosny, and most people convert the discomfort into anger, which they regulate by trying to control a partner—distrusting them, going through their belongings and cell phone call logs, making accusations, behaviors more likely to drive a partner away. "The trick is you have to control jealousy within yourself. You have to do something that will make you feel more lovable, because basically you feel unlovable when you're jealous.