To become an effective communicator, you need to learn to listen just as much as you need to learn to speak. Unfortunately, most people focus more on the speaking than they do on the listening. Whether in a one-on-one conversation or a group meeting or classroom, focusing on what others are saying allows you to present yourself more effectively. When you listen correctly, you also learn more.
Look around the room during a lecture, presentation, or lunchroom.The tell-tale signs of people not listening are everywhere. Some individuals put on a blank stare that can only be described as their "screen-saver face" (in the words of one of my colleagues). You know what that screen-saver face looks like: it's that blank stare in which the eyes are dull and looking blankly into nowhere and the face has absolutely no expression on it at all.You'll also notice people in a group or audience who don't look at the speaker at all. In fact, they look everywhere else.They fiddle with their pencil or longingly gaze at their cellphone or even try to sneak a peek at its screen. If there's a window in the room they stare at the sky, even if the view is just that of the neighboring office building. A great speaker may captivate even the most recalcitrant audience member. The average speaker, colleague, friend, or family member may have a hard time grabbing the gaze of the assembled listeners who don't know how to practice basic listening skills.
To become an effective communicator, you need to learn to listen just as much as you need to learn to speak. Unfortunately, most people focus more on the speaking than they do on the listening. Whether in a one-on-one conversation or a group meeting or classroom, focusing on what others are saying allows you to present yourself more effectively. When you listen correctly, you also learn more.Look around the room during a lecture, presentation, or lunchroom.The tell-tale signs of people not listening are everywhere. Some individuals put on a blank stare that can only be described as their "screen-saver face" (in the words of one of my colleagues). You know what that screen-saver face looks like: it's that blank stare in which the eyes are dull and looking blankly into nowhere and the face has absolutely no expression on it at all.You'll also notice people in a group or audience who don't look at the speaker at all. In fact, they look everywhere else.They fiddle with their pencil or longingly gaze at their cellphone or even try to sneak a peek at its screen. If there's a window in the room they stare at the sky, even if the view is just that of the neighboring office building. A great speaker may captivate even the most recalcitrant audience member. The average speaker, colleague, friend, or family member may have a hard time grabbing the gaze of the assembled listeners who don't know how to practice basic listening skills.
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