My friend Duck's bringing it in," a knock sounds at the door to Drummond's office suite, "And there he is now."
The suite's door swings wide and Duck enters leading a Unicorn. The beast happily munches on the 3 dozen or so roses Duck's using to entice it.
"What is this, McQue?" Drummond sputters, "You were supposed to bring me the horn!"
"And I did," I say, gesturing at the nibbling beast. "There it is."
"But, it's still on . . . you were supposed to . . . you didn't . . ."
A babbling tycoon! Almost as common as a Unicorn is rare! I speak over his blah: "That's right, I didn't. I didn't have to. You told me to bring you a Unicorn's horn. You didn't say it couldn't still be attached to the Unicorn."
Drummond is an interesting shade of mauve. His breathing is harsh and his eyes enormous. He grits his teeth and tries to compose himself. "Very well," he snarls, You've completed the ritual and you'll marry my daughter. But don't expect to get anything from the marriage, McQue. I've changed my will and Melody gets nothing as long as she stays with you." he smirks, "I don't think that'll be very long."
"Never can tell," I say. I turn to Duck. "Let's go. Bring the Unicorn."
Drummond shrieks. "What! What! You can't take the Unicorn! It's mine! You brought it to me!"
"Sure I can, Pete," I say, patiently. "You never told me that the ritual said you got to keep the horn. You just told me to bring it to you. I did. We're done. " I turn to go; turn back. "And if you thought I was gonna leave the Unicorn here for you to harvest its horn, you thought wrong."
"See," Duck says, smiling his nastiest smile, "McQue and me wondered why you specified a Unicorn's horn. Looked up the Drummond ritual's history. You weren't lying when you said that the eldest Drummond sets the task, but you weren't telling the whole truth either."
I nod. "Most of the past rituals involved some innocuous activity. Grooms had to learn and sing a love song outside the bride-to-be's window. Brides had to cook the groom's favorite meal. Found nothing about quests or derring-do in the Drummond family archives. You shouldn't keep them on the internet, by the way. Too easy to research."
"Yeah and other stuff's easy to research, too," Duck pulls some papers from his pocket, "For example, did you know that a Unicorn's horn is a cure all for every known disease?"
"The Unicorn just touches the sickee with its horn and instant miracle," I point to Duck's papers, "Page three, paragraph 6."
"So we figured a big business guy like you would see the profit potential in that," Duck says, "Of course, you didn't know if McQue could actually get a Unicorn's horn, but you figured it as a win-win. If he didn't get it, you win. If he did, you also win."
My friend Duck's bringing it in," a knock sounds at the door to Drummond's office suite, "And there he is now."
The suite's door swings wide and Duck enters leading a Unicorn. The beast happily munches on the 3 dozen or so roses Duck's using to entice it.
"What is this, McQue?" Drummond sputters, "You were supposed to bring me the horn!"
"And I did," I say, gesturing at the nibbling beast. "There it is."
"But, it's still on . . . you were supposed to . . . you didn't . . ."
A babbling tycoon! Almost as common as a Unicorn is rare! I speak over his blah: "That's right, I didn't. I didn't have to. You told me to bring you a Unicorn's horn. You didn't say it couldn't still be attached to the Unicorn."
Drummond is an interesting shade of mauve. His breathing is harsh and his eyes enormous. He grits his teeth and tries to compose himself. "Very well," he snarls, You've completed the ritual and you'll marry my daughter. But don't expect to get anything from the marriage, McQue. I've changed my will and Melody gets nothing as long as she stays with you." he smirks, "I don't think that'll be very long."
"Never can tell," I say. I turn to Duck. "Let's go. Bring the Unicorn."
Drummond shrieks. "What! What! You can't take the Unicorn! It's mine! You brought it to me!"
"Sure I can, Pete," I say, patiently. "You never told me that the ritual said you got to keep the horn. You just told me to bring it to you. I did. We're done. " I turn to go; turn back. "And if you thought I was gonna leave the Unicorn here for you to harvest its horn, you thought wrong."
"See," Duck says, smiling his nastiest smile, "McQue and me wondered why you specified a Unicorn's horn. Looked up the Drummond ritual's history. You weren't lying when you said that the eldest Drummond sets the task, but you weren't telling the whole truth either."
I nod. "Most of the past rituals involved some innocuous activity. Grooms had to learn and sing a love song outside the bride-to-be's window. Brides had to cook the groom's favorite meal. Found nothing about quests or derring-do in the Drummond family archives. You shouldn't keep them on the internet, by the way. Too easy to research."
"Yeah and other stuff's easy to research, too," Duck pulls some papers from his pocket, "For example, did you know that a Unicorn's horn is a cure all for every known disease?"
"The Unicorn just touches the sickee with its horn and instant miracle," I point to Duck's papers, "Page three, paragraph 6."
"So we figured a big business guy like you would see the profit potential in that," Duck says, "Of course, you didn't know if McQue could actually get a Unicorn's horn, but you figured it as a win-win. If he didn't get it, you win. If he did, you also win."
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