Seunghyun took his time kissing Jiyong. Their tongues swept together, slow, thorough, with none of the hurry of their past kisses for this one held within it the promise of another. When his neck started to ache from bending down, he gathered Jiyong up against his chest, forcing him up on his toes, and Jiyong looped his arms around Seunghyun’s neck to help hold himself up.
Finally, Jiyong broke away, lips glossy from Seunghyun’s mouth. He looked back over his shoulder toward the bed, and Seunghyun’s heart knocked hard against his chest once he saw what Jiyong was looking at.
Jiyong’s eyes returned to him. “Do you want to – it would be more comfortable.”
Seunghyun’s heart started racing. The bed suddenly looked like a foreign land, full of unknowns, and he didn’t have any kind of roadmap for what might happen there. Jiyong had only asked if he wanted to relocate, but saying yes to that felt like saying yes to so much more. He swallowed heavily in his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”
Jiyong started backing toward the bed. He caught Seunghyun’s hand as he went, and Seunghyun took a steadying breath before letting Jiyong lead him. As they neared the bed, Jiyong’s foot caught on something on the floor, and he stumbled a little, losing his balance and falling back into a seat on the bed. Seunghyun snickered as Jiyong kicked at the culprit with the heel of his foot, a dirty pair of jeans he’d left on the floor. He sat down beside Jiyong, still chuckling.
“You really need to clean your room again,” Jiyong nagged, kicking at the jeans again, but then he stopped, a glint of silver catching his attention. He leaned down and pulled it the rest of the way out of the pocket. “This is from the claw game,” he said, eyes seeking out Seunghyun’s for confirmation. “Is this for me? When did you even get it?”
The appearance of the bracelet brought with it the memory of the night he’d gotten it. Jiyong’s confession had made him so happy that he’d forgotten how much he’d been hurt, but now it was all back, the ache of it, so potent he didn’t know how he’d managed to forget. Except he did know; Jiyong’s pain had pulled his focus, but now his attention was back on his own, throbbing angrily from where it had been neglected.
“When you were clubbing with Joowon,” Seunghyun answered, lifeless. “I got it for you then. I was going to bring it to Seungho’s and tell you how I felt.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I did.” The lump in his throat made it hard to swallow. “But you were busy.”
The memories came, vivid and agonizing. Jiyong’s smile, the way it widened right before Joowon kissed him. The sound of his giggle as he pulled Joowon into the bedroom. Seunghyun told himself it didn’t matter, that they weren’t together, that Jiyong didn’t know how he felt then. He told himself all of this, but it still hurt.
Jiyong’s smile fractured. “You were there?”
Seunghyun nodded, not looking his way.
Jiyong sighed. He rest his hand against Seunghyun’s arm in apology. “I’m sorry. If I’d had any idea how you felt, I never would’ve went after anyone else.”
The ache in his chest kept Seunghyun from leaning into the touch. “I saw you kiss him. I saw you smiling.”
“I’m sorry,” Jiyong said again.
But the ache only grew. It expanded in Seunghyun’s chest till it pressed in on his lungs, pressed in so hard he felt the pressure of it with each breath. “I saw you take him to Seungho’s room.”
Jiyong’s eyes filled with tenderness. “No,” he whispered, scooting closer and shaking his head. “Hyung, no. Nothing happened. We kissed, that’s all.”
“It didn’t look like nothing. You had a in your pocket. Just in case, right? That’s what you said.” Seunghyun knew he wasn’t being fair – it wasn’t like Jiyong cheated – but seeing him with Joowon that night was an open wound that hadn’t even begun the process of healing.
Jiyong was quiet for minute, just watching Seunghyun with this pained expression. “You’re right,” he finally said. “I was planning on sleeping with him.”
Seunghyun’s gut twisted at his honesty.
“But I didn’t,” Jiyong finished, a gentle whisper. Seunghyun’s eyes rose back up to him, tentative, and Jiyong gave him a tender look before reaching up to his hair. “We didn’t go through with it.”
“Why not?”
“We just didn’t. I’d been acting like I just got dumped all night, and Joowon was trying to cheer me up, and then we got to the room, and – and it was the same room where we’d kissed, you and me, the same bed, and I just – I don’t know, I just kept talking about you, telling him all these stories.” Jiyong’s mouth twisted in self-deprecation. “I told him all about the day you took me to the beach. I was drunk; I couldn’t make myself shut up.”
The hunch eased out of Seunghyun’s shoulders, Jiyong’s words soothing him where his touch could not. “You talked about me?”
Jiyong cracked a grin, as if Seunghyun had said something funny. “I always talk about you.” His hand ran through Seunghyun’s hair again, and this time Seunghyun l