Highlights of The Last Hurrah will include:
The Top Gear Manhattan Project Special will see Clarkson, Hammond and May abandon their cartoonish right-wing outlooks when they realise the gravy train is over, and construct an atomic bomb which they park in Parliament Square to force a last-minute change of plan. The bomb fails to detonate but all three suffer fatal radiation poisoning.
Professor Brian Cox to be sent to Alpha Centauri and back at one-quarter the speed of light in The Wonders Of Relativity, while the actor Brian Cox remains on Earth.
Eastenders will feature A-list Hollywood talent including Johnny Depp, Alan Rickman and Samuel L Jackson before fast-forwarding to a future where Albert Square is a submerged monument to our collective stupidity.