Passive communication involves not expressing one’s own thoughts or feelings and putting their needs last in an attempt to keep others happy.[9] Passive communicators will internalize their discomfort in order to avoid conflict and to be liked by others.[6] This communication style is typically exhibited when individuals feel as if their needs do not matter and that if they voice their concerns they will be rejected.[6] Individuals who exhibit a predominately passive communication style usually have low self-esteem and may not be able to effectively recognize their own needs.[6] They tend to trust others but they do not trust themselves.[3]
There are many behavioral characteristics identified with this communication style. These behavioral characteristics include, but are not limited to: actively avoiding confrontation, difficulty taking responsibilities or making decisions, agreeing with someone else’s preferences, refusing compliments, sighing a lot, asking permission unnecessarily, and blaming others.[8] There are also many non-verbal behaviors that reflect passive communication. Typically, individuals engaging in a passive communication style have a soft voice, speak hesitantly, and make themselves very small.[8] They also tend to fidget and avoid eye contact.[8]
Passive communicators elicit numerous feelings in themselves as well as in others. They typically possess feelings of anxiety, depression, resentfulness, feelings of powerlessness, and confusion.[10] They feel anxious because their life seems to be out of their control and they acquire depressive feelings from a perceived sense of hopelessness.[10] Passive communicators may become resentful because they feel as if their own needs are not being met and may become confused because they cannot identify their own feelings.[10] People on the receiving end of passive communication typically feel frustrated, guilty, and may discount the passive communicator for not knowing what they want.[8] While engaging in this type of communication, passive individuals typically feel anxious during the conversation and hurt or angry later.[8]
Passive communicators tend to build dependency relationships, often do not know where they stand in situations, and will over-promote others, all resulting in depletion of their self-esteem.[3] Passive communicators do not regularly respond to hurtful situations, but instead let their discomfort build until they have an explosive outburst.[10] This outburst causes shame and confusion, leading the individual back into a passive communication style.[10]
There are, however, numerous instances in which passive communication is necessary. A few situations may include: when an issue is minor, when the problems caused by the conflict are worse than the actual conflict, and when emotions are running high.[3]