Listen with intent and clarify what you hear. If you want to be heard, first you must learn how to listen. This sounds counterintuitive, but if a coworker believes you are paying attention, he is much more likely to listen attentively to you as well. Hold off thinking about your response and don’t interrupt.
Be sure to paraphrase your interpretation of what was discussed and ask clarifying questions. Paraphrasing and clarifying are key practices that not only help ensure you are clear about what has been said, but they also let the speaker know that you want to understand what is being communicated.
Build trust by being authentic and consistent. To build and maintain trust in the workplace, your communication should be authentic and consistent. When you speak, make sure that you are clear and purposeful. Ambiguity will set you up for misinterpretation. An interaction is unlikely to be productive unless each side makes an effort to understand the other’s viewpoint. If you sense that a barrier is coming up in a conversation, acknowledge it and articulate the different perceptions.
Be consistent with both your nonverbal and verbal communication, making your actions match your words. The majority of meaning in conversations comes not from words, but from the participant’s facial expressions and body language. Don’t tell someone you are interested in what they are saying while checking e-mail on your phone. This inconsistency sends a mixed message, which undermines trust.
Offer your ideas and give them away. Instead of imposing your ideas, offer them. As a manager, your goal should be for employees to engage in the implementation of a new idea, not to praise you for thinking of it. The most effective managers plant little seeds, feed them, and watch employees “find” the idea in full bloom on their own. Employees are more likely to work towards an idea they helped develop, versus one that was imposed on them.
If an idea comes to you during a conversation with other coworkers, acknowledge how the input of the others helped generate the idea. Engage others in further discussion and invite your coworkers to offer ideas of their own. Innovation most often comes through collaboration.
Use questions skillfully. Questioning skills are critical to effective communication. When properly used, questions can redirect discussion, obtain information, focus debate and advance dialog. There are different types of questions that should be used at different times.
Avoid loaded questions (statements or accusations disguised as questions). “What did you expect?” is not a question that promotes productive dialog.
Use open-ended questions like “What would you like to see happen in this upcoming meeting?” to further dialog, expand the scope of the discussion and uncover missing information. This specific question type is also useful in establishing expectations before an engagement. If you pre-determine what participants are expecting going into a conversation, you can do your best to meet and manage expectations.
Use closed-ended questions to obtain specific information and to regain control of the conversation. If a coworker is in a monologue that isn’t going anywhere, use a close-ended question to regain control and redirect the conversation. Specific questions requiring a “yes” or “no” answer like “Do you need help with this project?” will help you acquire the specific information you seek.
Tackle negative emotions. No matter how hard we try, emotions do find their way into the workplace. When different personalities converge in a shared space for long lengths of time, chances are emotions will come out at some point. If you sense a negative emotion arising in a conversation with a coworker, be sure to address it. Ignoring it will only make it worse.
Allow the emotional party to express themselves without interrupting or defending yourself. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings and show you understand their perspective, even if you don’t agree. Ask questions to show your engagement, acknowledge your understanding, and then guide the conversation back to substantive issues.
If you find yourself becoming emotional, try mentally detaching yourself from the situation and resist the urge to speak or respond immediately. When emotional, you run the risk of saying something you will regret and losing credibility. Think for a moment, regain composure, and then respond.
Encourage, Encourage, Encourage. Last but not least, regardless of the conversation, try to keep it positive. If you have to deliver harsh feedback, do it in constructive and team-centric manner. Focus on behavior and performance and not the employee or his character.
According to Psychology Today, three of the top four things that motivate employees involve communication (the other was compensation):
The desire to defend their accomplishments
The need to make sense of their environment
The need to bond with others and feel as though they belong
Encouragement from management and co-workers through effective communication can create an environment that employees everywhere desire.
Becoming a more effective workplace communicator will not only make your employees and coworkers more motivated and productive, but will also have a positive effect on your work environment. As with any skill, communication requires practice. As your communication skills become more effective, so will you in your role as a leader or coworker.