“One morning after I got back from New York I wanted to fall flat on my face and never wake up,” he admits.
“Everybody wanted something from me, and with my family I’ve never been the person they look up to. Then I felt like I had to sort everything out for everyone. I thought about killing myself but I would never do it because my little sister looks up to me as an example.
“I know I have responsibilities now and I don’t want to let anyone down.”
James is beginning to turn to God to get him through the tough times.
He says: “I’ve started praying and believing in spirituality. I haven’t gone to church yet but I want to look into it in the future. In my darkest moment I prayed for God to help me and liberate me from stress. I remember being in that hotel bathroom and praying this feeling would go away.”
He’s talked about smoking cannabis in the past and in his darkest hours this summer he turned to it again.
“I’m not proud but it’s been a tough few months,” he says. “If I had any vice it would be smoking weed. If I’m stressed out and I want to switch off than that’s what I do. I hate cocaine, MDMA, all that stuff. I’ve seen it bring demons out in people I love. It’s not for me, especially with my heart palpitations. If I did a line of coke I’d have a seizure.”