The war had ended.
The news was all over the radio and everyone was cheering for it.
Junmyeon could only smile bitterly upon finding out. For him, ‘armistice’ with the North Korea wasn’t exactly the solution to stop the war, but if it could freeze it, then he—everyone would take the option. He was sick with all those foreigners in his country, anyway. It was time for them to go home.
Everyone was cheering whole-heartedly for their country despite the wounds they had. But Junmyeon was in no mood to celebrate. How could he, when his heart was pounding viciously against his rib cage, wanting to see his boyfriend so desperately? Is Yifan all right? Is Jongin all right? Is everyone all right...?
Kyungsoo had the same expression as him, but the male was luckier than Junmyeon.
Not long after that, Jongin showed up by the door with a pale face. The tan male seemed to have broken his arm, but other than that, he was going to live. It didn’t take long for Kyungsoo to scream in relief and ran to his boyfriend. Junmyeon stared at them in horror when Kyungsoo threw himself to Jongin—who winced hard at the sudden contact, but did nothing to push the former away.
Their lips soon met, and Junmyeon looked away from the romantic scene.
Junmyeon waited.
And he hoped.
Desperately.
In a minute, Yifan would walk through the same door. He would be bleeding, of course, perhaps a few broken bones like Jongin, but nonetheless, he was still breathing. It was all right, because Junmyeon would nurse him back to health and Yifan would be healed in no time.
Junmyeon stared blankly at the door. He waited, waited and waited, until he felt almost impossible to just wait there and do nothing. He needed to see Yifan. He needed to make sure that Yifan was okay. Junmyeon started running to the door, but the male paused halfway when the door swung open.
He bloomed into a smile—
—which quickly faltered because it was Zitao.
Zitao’s face and arms were bleeding, but it didn’t seem like he had broken bones. If it was only that, Junmyeon would just shrug it off. But it was Zitao’s expression that somehow hurt Junmyeon. The younger brother of Yifan opened his mouth to say something, but Junmyeon resumed his steps before he even started. The taller male caught Junmyeon before the latter was able to walk past him.
Junmyeon sniffled indignantly. “Let me go—“
“He’s gone.”
“No, let me go!!”
“He’s gone, Hyung!!!”
Junmyeon pushed Zitao away childishly with a scream. He glared at Zitao like the latter had just said something so terrible that was worth a slap. Junmyeon wanted to snap, but he soon realized that Zitao wasn’t joking and that the latter was just as desperate as him. A wave of sadness washed Junmyeon’s entire soul, draining him out, until he had no strength left. Junmyeon weakly stumbled backward, but then Zitao managed to grab him before he fell.
“The aircraft where Yifan and Chanyeol-hyung were in was blown to pieces,” Zitao said quietly. “No one survived...”
Junmyeon was unable to say anything, but to clutch onto his necklace.
"No one survived..."
Junmyeon felt like the light of his life had been yanked away abruptly from him. That it caused his world to be embraced by darkness, because he couldn't seem to find something to make it bright again.
"I'm sorry, Hyung..."
Junmyeon covered his face with his hands.
Yifan.
He didn't even able to say goodbye.
***
Slowly, but surely, things were getting better.
People didn’t live in fear anymore.
Two days had passed in a blink of an eye. Which meant it had been two days since Yifan and Chanyeol were announced dead. Which also meant that it had been two days since Junmyeon had no reason to live anymore. He thought of following Yifan to the other world, but he knew that it wasn't what Yifan would've wanted. So Junmyeon threw all of his bad thoughts to end his life and put on his best smile.
At least the war had ended...
Despite everything that happened, Junmyeon continued to work at the hospital, and he smiled widely when Sehun passed by as he followed some people who volunteered to help the wounded people, screaming that he was going to be a great doctor like Junmyeon when he grew up.
Junmyeon met Baekhyun downtown that morning, but they did nothing except to exchange a polite smile. Which was all right that way, because Junmyeon wouldn’t know how to respond if Baekhyun started crying in his arms, wanting to share the pain about Chanyeol. It was clear that Baekhyun mourned over his loss of Chanyeol.
But Junmyeon didn’t cry.
He hadn't even shed a tear for Yifan.
Junmyeon was sad, but that was it. He didn’t know why he couldn’t cry, wail or whine. It was a natural thing to do when someone lost so dear, right...? Junmyeon was hesitant to do it, because it was like he was afraid Yifan would scold him if he did. At times like this, he felt so helpless and alone. Junmyeon brought his hands to hug himself close, as if he was trying to remember the warmth whenever Yifan held him.
Kyungsoo was no doubt the happiest man Junmyeon had ever seen. And that he was really lucky to be able to have Jongin back still in one piece. Junmyeon envied them, and how he wished his fate with Yifan would go smoothly just as theirs. But perhaps it was Kyungsoo's fate and not his.
Junmyeon was standing by Yifan’s grave that day.
It was funny how they created a grave for Yifan, but his corpse wasn’t even there. All they could find from the rubble of the aircraft was a piece of hand clutching tightly to his angel necklace. Junmyeon found himself wanting to refuse at times, because he didn't want to believe that the hand belonged to the love of his life, but it was enough proof for everyone that Yifan was gone.
Eventually, Junmyeon was going to have to learn to accept, wasn't he?
“You’re here, again.”
Junmyeon smiled with his eyes closed. He recognized the voice without having to look over his shoulder. “And you’re following me here, again.”
Zitao sighed as he stood beside Junmyeon. “You know I’m just worried, Hyung.”
“Zitao, please... You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Hyung...”
Junmyeon dusted his pants even though they were clean and turned around to the younger male questioningly. “Yes?”
Zitao visibly chewed on his lower lip. He looked like he was struggling with himself, probably regarding the question he was about to ask. In the end, Zitao only exhaled through his nose and put on his best smile.
“He was going to marry you.”
That sentence felt like a hammer to Junmyeon’s chest because his eyes were soon burned with unshed tears.
“He did...”
Zitao nodded solemnly. “He was planning to buy you a ring if he ever...” The black-haired male never finished his sentence, but it was enough for Junmyeon to understand. “You know how much he loved you...”
It was as if the burden was taken away from Junmyeon’s chest. Junmyeon felt his eyes burning. He felt extremely sad. His dimmed world went dark completely, because it was all Junmyeon had ever wanted. To marry Yifan, to have a happy family, to live together until they couldn't even walk anymore. It was all he ever wanted, but why was it so hard to get...? Why...?
Junmyeon gasped for air and his vision became blurry.
Zitao’s eyes widened in shock when Junmyeon burst out crying.
The war had ended.
The news was all over the radio and everyone was cheering for it.
Junmyeon could only smile bitterly upon finding out. For him, ‘armistice’ with the North Korea wasn’t exactly the solution to stop the war, but if it could freeze it, then he—everyone would take the option. He was sick with all those foreigners in his country, anyway. It was time for them to go home.
Everyone was cheering whole-heartedly for their country despite the wounds they had. But Junmyeon was in no mood to celebrate. How could he, when his heart was pounding viciously against his rib cage, wanting to see his boyfriend so desperately? Is Yifan all right? Is Jongin all right? Is everyone all right...?
Kyungsoo had the same expression as him, but the male was luckier than Junmyeon.
Not long after that, Jongin showed up by the door with a pale face. The tan male seemed to have broken his arm, but other than that, he was going to live. It didn’t take long for Kyungsoo to scream in relief and ran to his boyfriend. Junmyeon stared at them in horror when Kyungsoo threw himself to Jongin—who winced hard at the sudden contact, but did nothing to push the former away.
Their lips soon met, and Junmyeon looked away from the romantic scene.
Junmyeon waited.
And he hoped.
Desperately.
In a minute, Yifan would walk through the same door. He would be bleeding, of course, perhaps a few broken bones like Jongin, but nonetheless, he was still breathing. It was all right, because Junmyeon would nurse him back to health and Yifan would be healed in no time.
Junmyeon stared blankly at the door. He waited, waited and waited, until he felt almost impossible to just wait there and do nothing. He needed to see Yifan. He needed to make sure that Yifan was okay. Junmyeon started running to the door, but the male paused halfway when the door swung open.
He bloomed into a smile—
—which quickly faltered because it was Zitao.
Zitao’s face and arms were bleeding, but it didn’t seem like he had broken bones. If it was only that, Junmyeon would just shrug it off. But it was Zitao’s expression that somehow hurt Junmyeon. The younger brother of Yifan opened his mouth to say something, but Junmyeon resumed his steps before he even started. The taller male caught Junmyeon before the latter was able to walk past him.
Junmyeon sniffled indignantly. “Let me go—“
“He’s gone.”
“No, let me go!!”
“He’s gone, Hyung!!!”
Junmyeon pushed Zitao away childishly with a scream. He glared at Zitao like the latter had just said something so terrible that was worth a slap. Junmyeon wanted to snap, but he soon realized that Zitao wasn’t joking and that the latter was just as desperate as him. A wave of sadness washed Junmyeon’s entire soul, draining him out, until he had no strength left. Junmyeon weakly stumbled backward, but then Zitao managed to grab him before he fell.
“The aircraft where Yifan and Chanyeol-hyung were in was blown to pieces,” Zitao said quietly. “No one survived...”
Junmyeon was unable to say anything, but to clutch onto his necklace.
"No one survived..."
Junmyeon felt like the light of his life had been yanked away abruptly from him. That it caused his world to be embraced by darkness, because he couldn't seem to find something to make it bright again.
"I'm sorry, Hyung..."
Junmyeon covered his face with his hands.
Yifan.
He didn't even able to say goodbye.
***
Slowly, but surely, things were getting better.
People didn’t live in fear anymore.
Two days had passed in a blink of an eye. Which meant it had been two days since Yifan and Chanyeol were announced dead. Which also meant that it had been two days since Junmyeon had no reason to live anymore. He thought of following Yifan to the other world, but he knew that it wasn't what Yifan would've wanted. So Junmyeon threw all of his bad thoughts to end his life and put on his best smile.
At least the war had ended...
Despite everything that happened, Junmyeon continued to work at the hospital, and he smiled widely when Sehun passed by as he followed some people who volunteered to help the wounded people, screaming that he was going to be a great doctor like Junmyeon when he grew up.
Junmyeon met Baekhyun downtown that morning, but they did nothing except to exchange a polite smile. Which was all right that way, because Junmyeon wouldn’t know how to respond if Baekhyun started crying in his arms, wanting to share the pain about Chanyeol. It was clear that Baekhyun mourned over his loss of Chanyeol.
But Junmyeon didn’t cry.
He hadn't even shed a tear for Yifan.
Junmyeon was sad, but that was it. He didn’t know why he couldn’t cry, wail or whine. It was a natural thing to do when someone lost so dear, right...? Junmyeon was hesitant to do it, because it was like he was afraid Yifan would scold him if he did. At times like this, he felt so helpless and alone. Junmyeon brought his hands to hug himself close, as if he was trying to remember the warmth whenever Yifan held him.
Kyungsoo was no doubt the happiest man Junmyeon had ever seen. And that he was really lucky to be able to have Jongin back still in one piece. Junmyeon envied them, and how he wished his fate with Yifan would go smoothly just as theirs. But perhaps it was Kyungsoo's fate and not his.
Junmyeon was standing by Yifan’s grave that day.
It was funny how they created a grave for Yifan, but his corpse wasn’t even there. All they could find from the rubble of the aircraft was a piece of hand clutching tightly to his angel necklace. Junmyeon found himself wanting to refuse at times, because he didn't want to believe that the hand belonged to the love of his life, but it was enough proof for everyone that Yifan was gone.
Eventually, Junmyeon was going to have to learn to accept, wasn't he?
“You’re here, again.”
Junmyeon smiled with his eyes closed. He recognized the voice without having to look over his shoulder. “And you’re following me here, again.”
Zitao sighed as he stood beside Junmyeon. “You know I’m just worried, Hyung.”
“Zitao, please... You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Hyung...”
Junmyeon dusted his pants even though they were clean and turned around to the younger male questioningly. “Yes?”
Zitao visibly chewed on his lower lip. He looked like he was struggling with himself, probably regarding the question he was about to ask. In the end, Zitao only exhaled through his nose and put on his best smile.
“He was going to marry you.”
That sentence felt like a hammer to Junmyeon’s chest because his eyes were soon burned with unshed tears.
“He did...”
Zitao nodded solemnly. “He was planning to buy you a ring if he ever...” The black-haired male never finished his sentence, but it was enough for Junmyeon to understand. “You know how much he loved you...”
It was as if the burden was taken away from Junmyeon’s chest. Junmyeon felt his eyes burning. He felt extremely sad. His dimmed world went dark completely, because it was all Junmyeon had ever wanted. To marry Yifan, to have a happy family, to live together until they couldn't even walk anymore. It was all he ever wanted, but why was it so hard to get...? Why...?
Junmyeon gasped for air and his vision became blurry.
Zitao’s eyes widened in shock when Junmyeon burst out crying.
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