I wonder when I started to become afraid of my brother.
At the very least, it wasn't like that at the beginning.
When I first met him, brother was hitting my father.
I loved my father.
Although he was useless in many aspects, I knew that he loved me with all of his heart.
Even if it wasn't like that, as a five year old child, he was a father that I loved without a doubt.
My brother punched that kind of father.
Appearing all of a sudden, and then punching my father.
I didn't understand the conversation at that time.
Even though I now understand that my brother had a lot of hardships before he finally met with father,
I also knew he made a fool of my father and got into a fight with him.
These things were unrelated to me at that time.
My brother hit my father.
When I saw him on top of father pummeling him,
I thought that my father would be killed.
Then, I came to a conclusion. The one and only truth for me at that time.
This person, I could not recognize him as family.
It wasn't from fear.
It was from hatred.
The feelings of hatred continued long after.
Because everybody was praising my brother.
Naturally from father, and then from my little sister and the maid that I met after as well.
The more they praised my brother, the bigger that stubborn part in me grew.
Like my brother, I hated my little sister.
At the school that we went to, she was my rival in everything.
Be it studying or physical exercises.
And then, excelling in everything, she looked down on me.
I had thought that we will never get along.
I was tormented by my inferiority complex.
The one who didn't approve of this was my grandmother.
At the same time that she was despising my non-blood-related little sister, she held excessive expectations for me.
No, perhaps it wasn't expectations.
It was just what my grandmother said.
"As a lady from the House of Ratreia, you must possess talent that won't shame us."
And then I was forced to study etiquette and detailed ceremonies.
I wasn't able to do them well, and each time I failed, she got angry.
Each time, my grandmother would say:
"If you become enthralled by an adventurer, you will muddy our blood."
I knew immediately that she was talking about my father and mother.
My grandmother despised my father who worked with all of his might.
I then hated my grandmother.
That's why, when a person calling herself my brother's Shisho came and and revealed my mother's whereabouts, rather than stay with grandmother I decided to follow my father.
Yes. My father was at a loss.
He wondered if he should leave me with my grandparents.
My mother inherited the blood of Milis nobles, and my father descended directly from Asura nobles.
There were no problems with my lineage.
My grandparents seemed to have wanted to welcome me into their household.
But, I hated that.
That's why I begged father, I clung to him in tears and followed him.
And yet.
And yet, my father sent me away to my brother's place.
He said that it would be dangerous from here on.
He said that my brother had prepared a base up north, so I should wait for him there.
He said that once he finds my mother, he will definitely catch up later.
I cried.
I said I hated it. I cried that I wanted to be where my mother was.
I thought that I must not separate from my father no matter what.
If Ruijerd-san hadn't appeared there, I might have been together with my father.
And then, I would have gotten sick at the Begaritto Continent, and become an inconvenience for my father.
Ruijerd-san.
I remember him quite well.
The first time I met him, was on the same day I met my brother.
He gave a helping hand to me who looked like I was about to collapse.
He patted my head with gentle hands.
He gave me an apple.
At that time, I didn't know his name.
After learning that he was a guard for my brother, I didn't ask for his name.
Nothing about him changed since that time, he patted my head, and persuaded me gently.
And thus, it became that I headed towards my brother's place.
When we began our trip, my little sister was in excessively high spirits.
She threw off her the mask that she never took off in front of father and her mother, and took on the mask of a leader, then made unreasonable plans one after another.
She was doing foolish things was what I thought.
That there's no meaning being this enthusiastic when there were two grown-ups here.
That's what I had thought.
But, Ruijerd-san and Ginger-san, obeyed my little sister.