Ian's gun was loaded, and he knew that he wouldn't
hesitate to use it. On the other side of the ravine, Luke
was crouched in terror behind a fallen tree stump,
trying to remain invisible from his vicious opponent.
The two men were positioned well to meet this ultimate
challenge, but their escape routes would soon be
blocked by a mud slide brought on by heavy rains in the
Belmont Butte area. With every crack of a twig, Ian's
brain raced, "Where was that sound coming from?"
Luke, on the other hand, knew that his job as backup
man required that he wait quietly until the action
started before he could move into position behind their
prey. Both hunters were fully aware of the danger
posed by their search for the rabid dog which was even
now dragging itself up the creek bed at the base of the
ravine.
This last form of narration, third person omniscient, relies on a narrator who is like
a god perched on high and who can see everything and know everything that is
going on in all places and in all the characters’ minds. The reader feels in control
and can easily follow many twists and turns of the action. Omniscient narration
keeps the reader at arm’s length. All the characters and all the events are seen as
equal. It is hard for the reader to identify with any one character, to have sympathy
with his/her situation, or to “pull” for them.
EXERCISE 23
1. What is the point of view in the paragraph about Arthur’s trip to the store?
2. Experiment with the effects of points of view by rewriting the paragraph with
a first person narrator and a third person omniscient narrator.
3. Which version is most effective? Why?
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The writer of the narrative about Arthur and the escaped circus animals chose
to present the details of the story in chronological, or time, order. All the details
are presented in the order in which they happened.
Sometimes writers play with the chronological order by presenting details that
happened in the past right in the middle of the present action. This is called a
flashback. At other times, a writer may decide to create a special effect by giving
the reader a glimpse of the future in the middle of the story.
Malcolm felt a sudden rush of stinging cold air on his
face and his stomach squeezed up into a tight hard knot. He
was dropping what felt like thousands of feet per second
through the air on his first parachute jump, and he really
knew what paralysing terror felt like.
Green and gold checkerboard fields
rose toward him as if he were cranking
the zoom lens on a video camera.
Would he be able to unfreeze his hand
long enough to full the rip cord? He
wasn’t at all sure any more. Suddenly,
he had a mental image of himself,
lounging on comfortable chair at the
club only a week ago saying, “Buddy,
I ain’t scared of nuthin’. Sky diving is
a piece of cake for people like me!”
Then, his mind refocused on his present predicament--getting
his fear-frozen fingers through that tiny ring. At last, they
moved; his fall slowed abruptly; he was mercifully hanging
under an open canopy. Now, he knew fear in all its icy
contours, and he was sure he wouldn’t skydive again.
The text in bold type is an example of a flashback. If these sentences were
replaced by Suddenly, he had a mental image of a dark polished coffin sliding into
the damp earth, surrounded by several figures huddled under black umbrellas, the
writer would have disrupted the normal time line with a glimpse into the future.
Both of these techniques produce a different effective. The writer needs to choose
the chronological order that best suits the audience and purpose of his piece of
writing.
Specific details, vivid descriptions, and dialogue are important in good
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narrative writing. A variety of sentence structures like questions, exclamations, and
short simple sentences contribute to the suspense as the story rises towards its
climax. In addition, opening a narrative in medias res--Latin for “in the middle of
things”--is a good strategy that grabs the reader’s interest right at the beginning and
leads him/her through the narrative until he/she finds the information needed to
complete the picture. The author use this device to grab the reader’s interest and
arouse his/her curiosity about what will happen next . For example, Arthur is
already on his way to the store, and Malcolm is dropping like a rock from an
airplane. The reader naturally wonders if the lions and tigers are real as well as
what will happen to Malcolm.
Narrative writing needs lots of transitions and transitional devices so the
reader can keep track of the passage of time and the movement from one location to
another. Choose transitions wisely; words and phrases like after, before, when,
during, three miles away, in the kitchen, out in the yard, after crossing the road are
essential to a reader’s understanding.
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EXERCISE 24
1. Write a narrative paragraph in which you use as many of these narrative
techniques as possible.
dialogue, in medias res, specific details, figurative language,
flashback or glimpse into the future, show; don’t tell,
time and place transitions.
2. Make sure that the story you tell has a focus or purpose. For example, if your
story is about a happy event, make sure all the details and events contribute to
a feeling of joy; eliminate anything that would contradict that feeling.
2. Descriptive Techniques
Descriptive writing relies heavily on words choice and figurative language to
make its impressions. Specific details are essential to paint a vivid and accurate
picture. When writing description, imagine that you are looking at a colour
photograph in your imagination. Take time to examine all the details in every corner
of the picture. Ask yourself questions that will force you to see the details you will
need to describe. What colours and what shades of green can I see in the
background of trees? Are there any shadows? What colour are they? What can I
smell? What does it smell like? How would that “thing” feel if I touched it? What
texture is her dress?
Once you have the picture frozen in your mind’s eye, begin to record the
details in some kind of order. Perhaps you will start at the horizon and work toward
the front of the picture, or vice versa. Perhaps you will work from left to right, or
top to bottom. This method of arranging details is called spatial order and is most
often found in descriptive writing. Sometimes, one detail, like a path, can be the
focus of the spatial order. In this case, the details are presented as they would be
encountered on a walk along it.
To make a descriptive passage come alive, remember to use sensory details
that appeal to sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell. Readers need to experience
everything that the writer experienced in order for the communication to be
successful.
Ripley’s Pond, a shallow woodland pool, was a dark
emerald in the depths of the dark spruce forest. Lit only
briefly by the noonday sun, the thick green water swayed
beside the nearest bank and reflected nothing of the tangled
bush around it. Here and there along the even darker green
of the shore, deadfalls pierced the mirrored surface and
provided an ideal foothold for the long wisps of rough grey
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lichens, called Grandfather’s Beard, to dangle their sinewy
tendrils on the surface. Penetrating everything was a stillness
and silence so intense that the lack of sound had a sound of its
own. On the far side of the pond, the sunshine broke through
a lush overhead canopy to highlight a narrow path that lead
away towards the purple hills and the village of Colchester.
But over all of this richness hung that stomach-turning sweet,
sickly smell of rotting vegetation.
EXERCISE 25
1. What kind of writing is this?
2. What is the dominant impression?
3. What was the writer’s purpose for preparing this message?
4. What method organizes the details? How are they arranged?
5. What transitions and transitional devices lead the reader through the details?
6. Show with examples the senses the writing appeals to?
7. Find examples of figurative language. Are they effective? Explain.
8. What role do specific details play in this passage?
9. Are you surprised by the ending? Why? Why not?
10. What changes or improvements would you make in this description? Why?
EXERCISE 26
1. Find three full colour pictures of a scene (magazines are good sources) that
show the same kind of location. Pick one and write a descriptive paragraph
about it? Be sure to choose a dominant impression before you start writing
and make sure all your details support it.
2. Ask a friend or your instructor to identify which of the three pictures you used
and then to point out the way the eye is supposed to move around it. Can
they identify the dominant impression?
3. Choose another picture of a person and write a descriptive paragraph.
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3. Expository Techniques
Expository writing offers the writer many choices. Two of them are
examined in this module: Which kind of details will make the strongest support for
the topic? In what order should they be presented?
In the early part of this module, you learned two ways to support your
arguments: examples and observations. You may also choose to use statistics and
quotes from appropriate sources to make your opinion even more convincing.
Obviously you will need to do some research to find accurate statistics and quotes.
Quotes must be by appropriate authorities. For example, a comment on heart
disease by an accountant wouldn’t be very persuasive, but one from a leading
cardiovascular surgeon would be. When you find appropriate material be sure to cite
your sources and give credit to them as described in the module on research skills.
(For the sake of learning, in this module only, you may invent statistics and
quotes.)
Here is the Max, the German shepherd, paragraph with statistics and quotes
added. See how much more effective it is. Numbers and authorities are always
persuasive to a reader, so try and include them if you can.
German