The language Barbara used here is interesting. ‘Battling through’ suggests a struggle
in adversarial conditions, implying a danger of personal loss or casualty for
Barbara both internally ‘self-doubt’ and in relation to the client ‘I’m
transparent’. Barbara wants to ‘manage’ these emotions, the wish for control in her
use of this word still suggesting a struggle against, rather than an acceptance of, her
emotions in her work. Through working on how to approach and use her emotions
during therapeutic work on the training day, the simplicity of Barbara’s journal
reflection on this at the end of the day showed how she had moved into a greater
acceptance of her emotions, ‘I learned a lot about how to be strong while being
vulnerable’. The association of strength and vulnerability offers a healthy alliance
after the battle-ground in Barbara’s earlier thinking. She seems to have gained some
appreciation of how to work with the strength of her own emotional response rather
than being pulled into self-doubt by it.