8. Learn how to be afraid.
Embarrassment is essentially fear – of being perceived in a way that is less, well, endearing than we’d like. So we if learn how to be afraid, we can handle the embarrassment in a way that is more psychologically and physiologically tolerable. Taylor Clark, author of the book Nerve, gave me some simple instructions on how to handle fear in a recent interview I did with him:
While we can’t instantly stop ourselves from getting startled or from feeling fear in response to the things that scare us, we do have the power to change how we relate to these emotions, which is all that counts. The more we learn to welcome our fear and anxiety, work with them, and weave them into the lives we want to lead, the less beholden we are to the whims of the amygdala [the brain’s fear control center]. And eventually, with enough effort and patience, the conscious mind gains the power to say, “Hey, amygdala, I have this one under control.”