“Fairly well,” Bill agreed before sitting on the kitchen table.
Dipper pulled a box of mac and cheese mix from the cupboard near the stove and a pot from a lower cupboard. He started his work of making the quick meal and continued ignoring Bill as the now human moved from his seat and began to peek over Dipper’s shoulder and watch in mild curiosity.
Finally, when the pot of water was set to boil, Dipper sighed loudly. “I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of people cook.”
“Not so close up and not someone so methodical.” Bill replied seriously, “Honestly, Pine Tree, you’d think you could be a bit less serious on boiling water.” He flicked a finger to the stove and the pot was covered in flames before they died down and the water was boiling almost instantaniously, “See. No big deal.”
Dipper gave Bill an annoyed look, “This isn’t gonna have some after affect, is it?”
“It’s just water, Pine Tree,” Bill assured, “You worry too much!”
Dipper scowled at him but reluctantly poured in the noodles and set in the timer before brushing by Bill and working on preparing the cheese sauce. As Bill watched him, Dipper felt like his every small move was being judged and he felt himself become more and more tense.
Glancing at Bill out of the corner of his eye, he could tell that Bill was grinning casually and Dipper was practically grinding his teeth together.
“Problem, Pine Tree?” Bill asked casually.
“No,” Dipper ground out. “Stir the noodles, would you?”
Dipper really needed to try and be civil.
There was a moment of silence before Bill consented and picked up the wooden spoon Dipper had set aside for just that purpose. He seemed hesitent before beginning to stir carefully. Then he grew more confident and he stirred a bit more, “This whole human thing is easy!” He chirped before hesitating and trying to play cool. “Say…Pine Tree…”
“Mmm?”
“What is it when there’s a pressure right here?” He placed a hand just below where his belly button was and he squirmed a bit more.
Dipper raised his eyebrow up at Bill and gave him a momentarily incredulous look before sighing. He was really going to have to adjust to this. “You need to use the bathroom.”
Bill stared at him for a long moment.
“Don’t tell me you don’t know how to do that,” Dipper groaned.
“Just the body part.” Bill grumbled.
“Your body will know what to do,” Dipper explained, “Just kind of push on the pressure from inside and make sure you don’t spray everywhere. So…hold it.”
Bill saluted much like Mabel did before trotting out of the kitchen.
“And put the seat up!” Dipper called, “And wash your hands afterwards! With soap!”
It was a tense few minutes as Dipper stood alone in the kitchen, stirring the pasta and really hoping that there wasn’t going to be piss all over the bathroom because then he’d have to teach Bill have to clean it all.
And he was sure Bill wanted him to teach by example.
Dipper hurried with the rest of the quick meal, draining the noodles and stirring them into the cheese sauce thoroughly before procuring a bowl from a cupboard and filling it. He quickly grabbed a spoon and walked into the living room where Mabel was sitting on the couch, half asleep, and watching TV.
“Dinner,” He announced to her, handing her the bowl.
She smiled her thanks, took it, and before she could say anything he was marching down the hall.
It didn’t take long to locate Bill, thankfully. He was just outside the bathroom, staring intently at a picture of Mabel, Dipper, and Grunkle Stan from their first summer in Gravity Falls. Bill’s expression was hard to read, his face intent and his mouth pulled into a thin line.
“It’s the first summer that Mabel and I came here,” Dipper said, breaking the silence carefully. “When I started finding out just how weird this town is.”
“You don’t know the half of it, Pine Tree,” Bill commented before looking back at Dipper.
Dipper watched Bill suspiciously before giving a soft sigh, “Dinner’s ready.”
Bill perked up instantly, “Great! I want to try everything while we’ve got this deal going on!”
Dipper grunted slightly when Bill grabbed his arm and dragged him back through the living room and to the kitchen. Dipper did manage to take Mabel’s empty bowl from her as they passed and he gently put it into sink when Bill dragged him into the kitchen.
“Alright! Gimme!” Bill announced, dropping Dipper’s arm.
Dipper gave him a dry look but retrieved a bowl and scooped a few large spoonfuls of the mac and cheese and presented it to Bill with a spoon. “You know how to eat, right?”
Bill scoffed and extra dramatically picked up a spoonful and put it in his mouth. Dipper watched, unimpressed, as Bill chewed his food. Dipper watched his face transform from smug to surprised to pleased as he continued chewing happily before swallowing and eagerly getting another spoonful.