What parents can do
When you have a chronically disobedient child, examine the possible sources of his inner turmoil and rebelliousness. If this has been a persistent pattern that has continued into middle childhood, closely evaluate your own family situation:
How much respect do your family members show for one another?
Do they respect one another's privacy, ideas, and personal values?
How does the family work out its conflicts?
Are disagreements resolved through rational discussion, or do people regularly argue or resort to violence?
What is your usual style of relating to your child, and what forms does discipline usually take?
How much spanking and yelling is there?
Do you and your child have very different personalities and ways of getting along in the world that cause friction between you?
Is your child having trouble succeeding at school or developing friendships?
Is the family undergoing some especially stressful times?