The Phases of Divorce
Divorce is much more complex than it ap pears on the surface. Ending a marriage rela tionship is not a one-time event that occurs in a courthouse; it is a process. Usually, a series of events and behaviors on the part of one or both spouses erodes the positive feel ings toward one or the other or both. Over a period of time, one or both of the marital partners becomes convinced that the rela tionship is intolerable, or at least is not working.
The divorcing couple, as well as the en tire family, experiences a variety of abrupt changes which impact nearly every aspect of their lives. Divorce is most often an ex tremely painful series of events. According to one expert, divorce occurs in six phases:
The emotional divorce centers around the problem of the deteriorating marriage. This phase usually takes place over a period of time, which varies from couple to couple. The positive feelings of love and affection are displaced by increasing feelings of anger, frustration, hurt, resentment, dislike, or hatred, and the perception that the positive feelings are gone forever. The attributes that attracted the couple to each other become less important in the presence of these nega tive feelings.
The legal divorce is based on grounds for the divorce. Even if “no-fault” divorce laws exist, one or both divorcing spouses usually states reasons why the other is at fault. The law usually recognizes incompatibility as