The biggest realization was that I did not know who I was anymore and always wondered what I was like before I started smoking because the mood swings were getting out of control and alienated all my friends and family. It went to the extent that they were pleading with me to get professional help or start smoking again.
The turning point was when my father died in March of this year. We all loved him and missed him and for some reason I have made peace with my self.