FIGURING OUT SEPARATION AND EMOTIONS
FIGURING OUT SEPARATION AND EMOTIONS
Toddler play is about mastering separation and figuring out emotions. As the toddler ventures further out on their own, they need to know they can count on their caregiver being available to them when needed. Competency develops only if they develop trust in their parent or caregiver as a secure base. By learning that leaving is only temporary, and trusting that the caregiver always returns, the toddler feels secure. Games such as peek-a-boo, hide-and-seek, or hiding and finding toys all reinforce that what goes away, comes back.
In their play, toddlers control the leaving and returning, hiding and finding. The glee upon being found time and again in hide-and-seek is evidence of the emotional base of this game. Toddlers play leaving games using their emerging pretend skills, “I going to store. Bye-bye.” As the leaver, the toddler decides when to go and return, rather than being left. They may comfort a doll or baby animal, assuring the baby (and self) that “Mommy comes back.” Toddlers like to push toys through tunnels, crawl through small spaces, open and close doors. These actions provide control and reminders that what disappears is not lost forever.
As separation proceeds, new emotions arise, from anger to sadness and fear. One toddler works through his sadness and anger after separating which frees him to begin his day at school.
Supporting play with simple props (i.e., puppets, dress up clothes and hats, open-ended materials like boxes) allows toddlers to work through emotions and life experiences. Here, a toddler plays out a sudden and frightening experience. Anger is a prominent emotion at this developmental juncture. Providing opportunities for toddlers to play out anger is key. Hammer toys and wood benches let them hammer away, “I am angry!” Puppets can express anger, which makes the emotion less threatening to the child, or the child can become an angry animal to express her feelings. Toddlers also experiment with the range of emotions through play.