It is also helpful to realize that persons with borderline disorder did not acquire the disorder through any actions of their own, nor do they enjoy having the disorder. Imagine what it must be like to feel that you are frequently at the mercy of forces within you, over which you seem to have little control, and that cause you extreme emotional pain and significant life problems.
Therefore, a critical first step in the process of helping them and you is to learn as much as you can about the symptoms and nature of borderline disorder, and the specific situational causes of acute episodes in the member of your family with the disorder.