Your 12 year-old daughter is delighted. She got an A-minus in maths, second prize in a history competition, and top marks in her piano exem. Do you a) say Well done!, give her a hug, and tell her she does not need to practise the piano today, and can go to a frind 's house, or b) ask why she did not get an A in maths, why she did not get first prize in the history exam, and tellher she'll be punished if she does not do her piano practice? If you chose a), you are definitely not Amy Chua.