Sir Leonhard did not refute me.
He remained silent, expression grave. He offered no temporary words of diversion, but that was very much like him.
Even if the reality was hard, he would never cover it up with a kind lie, and his honesty was what I loved about him.
My expression softened with the strength of my feelings.
“However, I’m sure it won’t be because he is cold and unfeeling. My kind brother will surely suffer from worry, because he treasures me and Johan a lot.”
The night the royal palace was attacked, I had believed him to be able to use me for his purpose.
He needed to be able to draw a line between the two; it was not a matter of him using his little sister, but being capable of making the princess fulfill her duties. I myself wished to be useful, so there was no need for him to feel indebted to me.
And yet, Chris had protected me the way an older brother would his little sister. He had spoiled me, and hugged me close.
Even though he was probably the same when it came to not having anyone to spoil him.
Like hell I’d be able to tell someone like that to, Use me for what you need.
“My real intention is, very simply, commonplace selfishness.”
I was still content to be a child.
I’ll stay his spoiled little sister.
Until my brother does not “use” me, and places his confidence in and “trust” in me.
“I have no desire to be used by my brother, and I don’t want to let him use me, either.”
“…………”
Sir Leonhard stared at me, and a long silence fell inside the carriage. Only the sound of the wheels hitting the ground was audible, but it wasn’t unpleasant.
How much time has passed, I wondered.
Sir Leonhard sighed briefly and smiled.
He wasn’t upset with my outrageously selfish reasons, and only looked upon me kindly.
“I understand. If it is as you have you said, this conversation will go no farther than us.”
“Sir Leon…thank you very much.”
“Not at all.”
It is not something you should give thanks for, he smiled wryly.
The next second, his expression became serious, and he bowed his head.
“I am merely your lowly servant, but I have overstepped my bounds. Please, forgive me.”
It was apology that would accept nothing but a clear explanation of what he thought of himself.
I also liked this side of him a lot. But, it felt like I was being pushed away, so I felt lonely.
If I wasn’t the princess, would he be more willing to be at ease with me? I wondered.
But if that were the case, he wouldn’t be able to protect me like this.
“Your Royal Highness? What is the matter?”
“…………”
If I thought about it, his interactions with the Priestess was because she was the Priestess.
He didn’t just pamper her. He scolded her, and at times, he cheered her on as well. He called her name with that deep voice. And patted her head with that big hand of his.
How nice… It wasn’t fair.
I also want that big hand to pat me. You’re silly, I want him to joking say to me. I want him to give me a light poke and affectionately say, There’s no helping you.
“Sorry. It’s nothing.”
But, none of it was possible. As the princess, I had my limits, and it was a wish that could never come true.
A whim as impossible as asking for the moon.
It was saddening, but that was reality.
There was no use hoping, so I couldn’t bring trouble to Sir Leonhard again.
I made up my mind, and smiled at him to put him at ease, but…
“Your Royal Highness.”
“Um…y-yes?”
“It does not appear to be nothing.”
Sir Leonhard wasn’t deceived at all.
On the contrary…he looked a little angry. Was it just my imagination?