We've been choking on Peter Pans lately — Allison Williams crowing in tights on TV, Finding Neverland on Broadway, the high school production you rightfully dread seeing. The nadir, till now, was Steven Spielberg's 1991 Hook, with Robin Williams as the grown-up Peter longing for his golden youth and a chance to defeat Dustin Hoffman's dastardly Capt. Hook. Still, Joe Wright's origin story of Peter and the lost boys has to be the dimmest, deadliest take ever on J.M. Barrie's Pan