If the goals of your hero and heroine are completely opposite, as you resolve the plot, one must win and one must lose. If the heroine wins, the hero turns into a wimp. No one wants a wimpy hero! If the hero wins, your story has turned into just another tale of how the masterful male overcomes the ditzy weakling, and outdated, female. What we are left with is basically a No-Win Situation with lots of room for resentment on both sides. The capacity to forgive and forget set aside, your "losing" character may seem less of a person if they are willing to relinquish a long-cherished, firmly-held dream to be totally subsumed in a relationship. The No-Win Situation may be the logical resolution of the conflict, but it may not be the emotionally satisfying conclusion your reader expects and deserves.
For me, the best plots make the hero's and the heroine's goals the same. Sounds silly. Sounds impossible! If they're both working toward the same goal, where's the striving? Where's the conflict?