Minami Kotori-sama (‧8‧)
I am writing a letter to you again…! Just as before, I’m thinking, what am I to do… . To write a letter… Rather, I’d say it’s conveying things I don’t usually say to you anew, putting them into words, but since you’re always with me like this… There isn’t anything like that at all! Right?
Kotori is on my mind all the time, so as to nurture your cuteness… Those feelings are like that of a parent, but what are your thoughts, Kotori? How do you feel? That said, there are also feelings like that of a friend, because I am constantly closest to you and see various sides to you. Kotori too, surely you know all about my thoughts, my troubles, my hangups, my love. Together, the 2 of us have challenged, and fretted over, and overcome all sorts of things; we’ve seen so many smiling faces and viewed so much scenery. In these 6 years, we’ve really kept at it, huh…!
I think you’ve really worked hard, Kotori. I want to praise you a lot! A lot, a – lot! Even though I am not writing about them here, there have been situations that were very frustrating, that we loathed. At those times, I truly could not forgive that such things were said of Kotori. I promised that I would endeavor together with you, didn’t I. From that day onwards, little by little, have you fluttered your wings? I too, together with you. Still, while Kotori worked hard, I worked hard too, I want to get lots of praise too – !! I persevered because Kotori was there. And for Kotori, I would be pleased if you think, from your heart, that you persevered because I, Uchida Aya, was there. Will you think so? You will, right…?
You initially had an image of being reserved and mature. But when I finally met you, from when we first read the scripts together, I did not overlook Kotori’s mischievous side, and I brought it out in my portrayal. Though at the start, you came off as shy in the scripts, gradually, the good parts to Kotori came out a lot. Every once in a while, even I was surprised by the mischief you got up to, but that aspect of you is “my pace” and cute too, and I steadily came to like it. Was it from Printemps’ drama CD? (* retaining the original phrasing; presumably this is in reference to the audio drama tracks.) There was a scene where you got mad at Honoka. My adoration grew for you, this strong girl who had so much consideration for a companion she could get mad at her. From then on, Kotori’s never wavered, you would properly say what you had to say when the time called for it, you were well mindful of yourself, you were a dashing girl at your core. I admired that. So, your usual leisurely demeanor was all the more cute ♪ I thought, when it was just me, as a girl, to already “be taken with” how cute and dashing you were, I wanted to make many people “be taken with” Kotori!
Thereafter Love Live! grew progressively bigger, there were posters at stations for the Yamanote Line and other routes, I saw TVCMs of Kotori and the others; I was always like an idiot parent feeling like, “Our daughter is the cutest!” I couldn’t just let it go. I watched you progressively become a great presence, and I was happy, but also lonely. Despite our always being together, I felt as though you had departed far away. If Kotori was beloved by so many people, I was insecure as to whether I could catch up with where you were. I had to be worthy of being “Kotori-chan’s voice actress,” I could not be your shortcoming.
However, it was the TV appearances I disliked so much which led me to consider, if I were to think that way, I was disrespecting Kotori, it should be me guiding Kotori ahead. Be it MSte or Kouhaku, Love Live! as a work was granted appearances on huge stages. Still, it was not Kotori shown on screen, but “me”. While I had always disliked that, while I disliked how the focus was on me instead of Kotori, on the flip side, I realized I was standing on even ground with Kotori. Places I had guided Kotori towards. Where I had to work hard at matters Kotori was not up to. When I thought of it that way, my performance for Love Live! improved by leaps and bounds. I wanted to do things I only could with Love Live!, I wanted to leave my mark, I believed 100% in myself. Are you happy for that, Kotori, I wonder?
The Final Live at Tokyo Dome was the last live for Kotori, and for me as well. I wanted to become Kotori. I wanted to imprint the existence of “Minami Kotori” in that space at the Dome with you. I wanted to show the results of the 6 years we spent with each other, and have the proof of it reflected in everyone’s hearts. We worked so hard! On the second day [of the Final Live], when I lost [my/Kotori’s] voice, I thought I wasn’t able to stand onstage together with you again, and the tears wouldn’t stop. I was so frustrated. Sorry… But I was not alone, right? Kotori was there, walking alongside myself. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. In those 2 days at the Dome, there was no character, nor her portrayer. I bel