5. They push “pause” before responding
When you face an immediate and acute stressor, your instinct is to fight back and respond immediately. While this served your ancestors well when they were being attacked by a wild animal, it is less helpful today unless you are actually being attacked physically. Technology makes it much easier to exacerbate a stressor with a quick response. I know I have been guilty of responding too quickly to people, on email in particular, in a terse tone that only made things worse.
Instead of reacting right away, simply hit the pause button in your mind. The more something gets under your skin, causes your heart to race, and makes you breathe a bit more quickly, the more important it is to step back before speaking or typing a single word. Take a moment to gather your thoughts, and then have a rational discussion. This will give you time to think things through and determine a way to deal with the other person in a healthier manner.
successful people at work bookExcerpted from Are You Fully Charged?, by Tom Rath. Silicon Guild, May 2015.
Tom Rath is an author and researcher who studies the role of human behavior in business, health, and well-being. Tom has written five New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers over the past decade, starting with the #1 New York Times bestseller How Full Is Your Bucket? His book StrengthsFinder 2.0 was the top-selling book of 2013 worldwide on Amazon.com. Tom’s latest bestsellers are Strengths Based Leadership, Wellbeing, and Eat Move Sleep. In total, his books have sold more than 6 million copies and have made more than 300 appearances on the Wall Street Journal bestseller list.
Tom serves as a Gallup senior scientist, where he previously spent thirteen years leading the organization’s work on employee engagement, strengths, leadership, and well-being. He is also a scientific advisor to Welbe, a startup focused on wearable technology. Tom holds degrees from the University of Michigan and the University of Pennsylvania, where he is now a regular lecturer. Tom, his wife, Ashley, and their two children live in Arlington, Virginia.